Pictures of You
by Ladybug-Jojo
Summary: Happy Birthday Sabrina ;-) Prequel Every Road Leads Back To You! Explaination all inside 333! Pretty much just Alicia/Will sweetness/cuteness!
1. December: The first sound of a newborn

_Happy Birthday Sabrina! Do you have any idea how much you mean to me and how happy I am to have you in my life? I don't know if you do... but I am and I do. I know this will make you smile and you will love it, because I know you. Also instead of giving you one gift at your birthday you will get at least 12 gifts through the year. ;-) I wish you all the best in your next year, may it be an amazing one!_

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_Okay this story is the prequel to Every Road Leads Back To You. It is mostly a collection of shorter moments through the first years of Catherine Amy Cavanaugh-Loy's life, from when she was born and until the beginning of Every Road Leads Back To You. However what is important to notice is that where that one is an Alicia/Will/Peter fic , this one is ONLY Alicia/Will. As I mentioned above there will be a chapter at least every 16__th__ of the month, if I get special ideas there "might" be added another but it is meant to give Sabrina a special gift every month through her next year._

_You can read these stand alone moments and enjoy them even if you are not reading ERLBTY as this is just mostly cute moments though the years. And you can just read the summary I will give now and it should explain it all well enough._

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**Summery of Every Road:**

_Instead of leaving L&G at the end of season 4 Alicia ended things with Peter on election night, after kissing Will. She chose herself, telling Will she needed time while separating again and going though the divorce with Peter. She and Peter divorced rather friendly; however on the day they signed the divorce papers they did so at her place, and they ended up having sex one last time on top of the newly signed papers. Three months later Alicia kept feeling ill, thinking it was the flu so she went to the doctor, who told her she was pregnant. She had not learned about it earlier because she kept denying all signs, thinking it couldn't be true, and that she was just stressed out with work. The only possible father was Peter as she still hadn't been dating anyone. However she was scared and didn't want to get dragged back into her marriage. She __knew if she told Peter he would want to be there, he would be involved and she had finally moved on and she was starting to think she could be with Will. And how could it all work with a new born? Especially because Peter was by then Governor and would maybe even be President in the future and that was something Alicia felt was his true calling in life. However if he learned she was pregnant with his child, he would want her to come to Springfield, which she wouldn't do... want her to give up her life and moving there...and if she told him no, he would give up the Governorship and move back to Chicago to help her out..._

_She knew she couldn't let him do that because he would resent her and their child at some point if he did...She knew it would end there, she had been there before... giving up her dreams because of him and her kids and for the last years before everything went down she wasn't happy either and she knew Peter would feel the same if he gave up on his dream and destiny because of their baby. _

_She knew she couldn't risk Peter resenting her or the innocent life of their child, so she never told him. To Zach and Grace she told that she had gotten pregnant from a bad judgment call aka a one nights stand, right after the divorce, and she didn't know who the father was. And that they had to keep it a secret, that no one could know because if this got out, that she had a drunken one night stand and ended up pregnant so soon after the divorce it would be very harmful to Peter's career. So they couldn't tell anyone of this... not even him... as he would feel a need to help out and that would hurt his career, too._

_She later on told Will she was pregnant and he was supportive and helped her out a lot, he was also the one that came up with the idea of how to hide it form the others and got her the needed maternity leave. His idea was to have declared her in need of leave for months because of stress. Something they did from the end of the 6th month. _

_She also told her mother, who was surprisingly supportive after considering it. _

_The only other person that knows is Owen. _

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_Okay that is all that is needed to know to read and enjoy these moments. It is also important to know that i am going to try to stick to the a flowing time line. and that these are still just cute, and sweet and maybe some times a little sexy one shots about the life of Alicia, Will and Catherine, also known, in Every Road Leads Back to You, as Cat. Moments that take place in the first four and a half years of Cat's life._

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**Pictures Of You**

_This is the clock upon the wall  
This is the story of us all  
This is the first sound of a newborn child,  
Before he starts to crawl  
This is the war that's never won  
This is a soldier and his gun  
This is the mother waiting by the phone,  
Praying for her son_

_Pictures of you, pictures of me_  
_Hung upon your wall for the world to see_  
_Pictures of you, pictures of me_  
_Remind us all of what we used to be_

* * *

**The first sound of a newborn child **

Will was pacing back and forward on the gray linoleum floor, every time a door opened he looked up. And every time he let out a heavy sigh when he realized it was not related to him.

_It shouldn't take this long should it?_

Of course he knew that Alicia being rushed into an emergency c-section 32 weeks pregnant was not a good thing. But, still, it shouldn't take this long should it? The more time passed the more nervous he got, he feared for her life and her baby's life. He knew that if something happened to the baby Alicia would never forgive herself, she would never get over it.

He heard another door being opened and looked over once again and once more he felt a stab in the heart when he realized it was yet again not for him.

"Here, you look like you need it..."

Grace said beside him making him spin back around. She held up a cup of coffee which he gratefully took, with a smile and nod, trying to give the young girl a brave smile, hoping to push away some of the worry she would have to be facing, since it was after all her mother and baby sibling that were in surgery right now, maybe fighting for their lives. He took a sip of the coffee, and cringed because of the taste, hospital coffee seemed to be of the same standard as their food.

His gaze followed Grace as she moved over to sit down on a blue plush chair, once more pulling her legs up and resting her chin at them, she looked a lot younger than the soon-to-be 18 year-old teenager. He let out a deep sigh, he should be trying to comfort her but right now he didn't know what to say to her. What could he really tell her when he was pacing and panicking himself, getting more and more scared every minute that passed. You could, after all, only tell yourself _no news is good news _so many times before the words became hollow and empty.

It felt like the time was passing in slow motion, it had really not been as long as it seemed since this whole thing started, not even 6 hours since he had gotten the call form a nervous Grace, asking him if he could get to the hospital because she had just driven her mother there.

He had been out of the door in under five minutes and at the hospital soon after, where an annoyed Alicia had insisted he shouldn't have showed up, that it was unnecessary. She was fine and had only gone in there to be sure because she had an uneasy feeling.

Grace had pulled him aside and told him it hadn't been just an uneasy feeling but a panic attack, that she was sure something was wrong, and was only taking it calmly now because she had been checked out and they had told her everything seemed to be fine, they just would like to keep her over- night because the baby's heart rate was a little on the lower side and Alicia's blood-pressure on the higher end, and she had light signs of uterine infection. They were all things that would probably not be a problem, but added together they preferred to have her stay for observation.

Will hadn't liked the sound of that and had insisted on staying though she had kept arguing that it was unnecessary.

Grace had stayed, too, sleeping on a couch close by a nurse had found for her. Will had called Veronica and told her what had happened, calming her down and promising if anything changed, he'd call her again.

Something he had to do only a few hours later when Alicia woke up in pain, crying and scared her waters had broken, nurses and doctors rushing in. He hadn't understood anything really of what was going on other than it was bad and they needed to do an emergency c-section, that the child needed to come out now.

They had rushed her out of the room and Will had hugged a crying and scared Grace, asking him if her mother and the baby would be okay, an answer he hadn't known back then but said he was sure they would. An answer he grew more and more unsure of being true each second there passed. He had later on called Veronica and told her what had happened. It was almost impossible not to make her rush there as well, but finally he made her agree not to come before the morning, and instead call Zach and tell him what happened.

Will had never been more grateful for Zach's somewhat acceptance of him than he was now, if not for him Grace wouldn't have called him in the first place.

Shortly after learning Alicia was pregnant he had been over to her place for dinner, Zach was home from college for the weekend, and it was the first time he met the two teenagers for real. And though he was clearly anything but their favorite person, they still seemed somewhat accepting.

As he was leaving, Zach had asked if he could follow him down, and Will had accepted, realizing the kid wanted to talk with him about something. Down on the street Zach had looked worried and younger than through the whole dinner, asking Will if he promise to look after Alicia, now she was alone and pregnant and he was the only one beside Grace, Veronica and himself that knew, and Zach worried something would happen with her or the baby and she would be alone. Will had promised he would do whatever he could to help her and look after her, calming Zach a bit.

The second shock regarding Alicia's kids had come a week later where a nervous Grace showed up in his office, asking him pretty much the same, saying she knew Zach had talked with him, and if he held back because of her he shouldn't. Will had quickly realized that both kids at that point suspected that he might be the father to the child, none of them knowing the full story. He had made sure to explain that part to Grace but also promised her he would help in any way he could and Alicia would allow him to, calming Grace a little. In the end they had made a deal that she could and should call him day or night whenever she thought something was wrong, or she worried about something regarding Alicia.

She hadn't used it many times, and that night it was the first time where it was really serious.

Nevertheless, the deal he had made with both kids back then had made the last few months easier, when Alicia went on leave he had still dropped by regularly, becoming more and more accepted by Grace, something he had laughed to himself about more than once; if Alicia had allowed them the chance to get to know him sooner it maybe wouldn't have been her children that were the issue between them. But you couldn't change the past, only learn from it, and that was what he was doing in these hours.

He loved Alicia, he had never doubted that, and he now got along with her older kids, so he could learn to care for her baby too, he knew he could. He regretted not being more persistent in his offer in taking her to birthing class and help her with that but she had stood her ground there. Veronica had been the one to take her to those. However, he had been the first one other than herself to feel the baby's kick, something that had also made him feel strangely warm watching the same emotions in her eyes: The beaming light and glimmering mist of happiness in her eyes had made his heart skip a beat and given him a deep desire to kiss her, something he hadn't done back then, but he wouldn't let the chance pass by again.

He would kiss her and tell her how he felt when she woke from the anesthetic, because she would wake up, he was sure she would wake up.

Sure this wasn't ideal and he was still confused on what he felt towards the fact that it was Peter's baby but he loved Alicia, and the thoughts and fear that ran though him right now of how he might never get to tell her just that. That scared him, no, it terrified him, so he would tell her once and for all when all of this was over. He wouldn't let another chance pass him by.

"Family for Alicia Cavanaugh?"

A female voice behind him said, making him spin around, and Grace get up from her chair and move over to him.

"Is she okay?" Will asked nervously, and the nurse gave him a kind smile.

"She will be fine, they are finishing up taking her to a room now, but I came to ask if you wanted to see your daughter sir?"

Will let out a heavy sigh of relief, hearing the news of Alicia.

"It's a girl?"

Grace asked nervously, he could hear she was relieved and happy, too.

"Yes it is, would you like to see her?"

Grace looked up at him and he nodded, he knew they should go see her before going to Alicia, because if Alicia woke the first thing she would want to know would be if her baby was ok. The nurse smiled at them and guided them a floor up to the NICU.

They were told they had to disinfect their hands and put on scrubs before they were allowed in, one at the time. He had offered Grace that she should go in first, it was after all her baby sister, but she argued against him and said he should, and she wanted to call both Zach and Veronica, and she wanted to talk with her grandmother.

So in the end Will had nervously gone in there and over to where the little girl was in the incubator, reading what it said on the side, 3 lbs. 9,5 ozs, 18 inches girl-Cavanaugh, born the 12/16. He looked at the little girl through glass, she was so tiny, but at the same time the sight of her made his heart skip a beat, he had never before found babies particularly beautiful or pretty, nevertheless that was exactly the word he would use to describe Alicia's newborn, beautiful.

"You are allowed to touch her, she is with relatively good health, just make sure to not touch the tube, it is for air, though she only needs it to help, her lungs are not bad for a 32 weeks preemie, and otherwise she is fine. We expect your wife might even be able to nurse her then she wakes up, though she will still need tube feeding too."

A nurse told him, and Will nodded nervously.

"What if I hurt her, she is so tiny?" He asked and looked up at the smiling nurse.

"You won't, just be careful, and touch her hand."

She answered him with a smile, and he nodded and carefully moved his hand inside the incubator, stroking the tiny hand, something that made the little being jerk a bit. Shocked and scared he pulled his hand away, fearing he had hurt her.

"Is she okay?"

He asked and looked back up at the nurse whose smile had widened a bit, and she nodded.

"She is excellent, that is how preemies move sometimes, don't worry."

He looked worried but nodded and carefully stroked her hand softly again, resting his little finger in it, and that was when he felt it, the tiny grip of her hand or at least a try to grasp his finger, at the same time as the little girl made a soft sound, a mix between a soft whimper and crying, the tube making it harder for her. Will felt his heart skip a beat at the sound of the little girl's whimper.

"She knows who her daddy is."

The nurse told him gently.

"Have you and your wife decided on a name yet?"

Will didn't listen to what she said, he was too focused on the tiny human in front of him. He had thought it could be difficult to love Peter Florrick's baby, the baby that once more was a blocker for his and Alicia's relationship. Looking at her now he knew he already loved her, if for nothing else because she was partly Alicia. She was so little, tiny and innocent, how could he not love her? That was the harder question.

He looked up again at the nurse when he realized she had said something, hoping she would repeat it.

"I just asked if you had settled on a name before hand?"

She asked him and he smiled, he might not have been a part of everything regarding the baby but he did know about the name. Alicia had long ago picked out a name for both a girl and a boy depending of what gender it would be, something she hadn't wanted to know beforehand.

"Catherine... Catherine Amy."

He answered, smiling as he said it, remembering that Alicia had spent some of her leave reading old classics and it was after reading Wuthering Heights she settled on the name Catherine. He had jokingly asked if she would name a boy Heathcliff then, making them both laugh, but she had admitted her paternal grandmother's name had also been Catherine, and she liked the name, and had always done. Amy she had chosen because of the meaning, especially the meaning of the two names together _"Pure Love!"_

"Her name is Catherine Amy"

He repeated once more to himself as he looked down on the little girl again, carefully stroking her hand.

No, loving her wouldn't be the issue here, he feared not loving the little girl would be far harder.

* * *

She fluttered her eyes, the bright light around her was strong and irritating, and she didn't really want to open them, that was until someone seemed to turn off the light darkening her surroundings.

"It's okay I closed the blinds."

Will's gentle voice told her close by coaching her into carefully try to open her eyes once more, finally able to do so without getting blinded by the sharp sunlight. She was disorientated the first few minutes, taking in the hospital room, her mother standing at the end of her bed and Will standing beside her, his eyes filled with worry and care. It took her a few seconds to realize why she was in the hospital and why they were both there, but the moment she did she gasped out loud, making herself cough. Will's hands were immediately on her trying to sooth her, and calm her down. As she caught her breath again she looked up at him, her heart clenching of the fear passing through her already, a fear for the innocent life she had carried, a life she loved more than anything else.

"Will? My baby? Is my baby alright?"

She whispered, her voice laced with the fear creeping up in her like the coldest night, however his warm gentle smile made her a little more at ease as soon as she saw it. He wouldn't be smiling or beaming at her like that if her baby wasn't alright _would he?_ No he wouldn't, she knew he wouldn't.

"She is perfect..."

He smiled at her, filling her heart with joy and pushing away the dread that had tried to take over her soul. _She was alright! She? _

"It's a girl? I had a daughter?" She whispered as tears started to fill her eyes, but she kept on looking at Will taking in how he smiled and nodded.

"you do... she is beautiful..."

He smiled gently as he sat down in the chair besides her bed. She looked over to where her mother had been earlier only to notice she had left, at an other time she would have wondered where and why, and maybe even have been angry or hurt but right in this moment she couldn't care less.

"You had an emergency c-section Alicia, your water broke... I am not sure how much you can remember..."

Will started to say, and she furrowed her eyebrows. She could remember having gone to the hospital and Will show ing up. And as she tried to remember, memories of waking up in a stabbing pain feeling drenched, and knowing her water had broken, panicking because it was too early, her baby couldn't come yet. She couldn't remember anything else other than being told they needed to take the baby out right away.

"Her heart-beat was a little too low so they had to take right away, plus they admitted that you already seemed to be too far to stop the labor or delay it, and since you were this far along they did the c-section, figuring it was the best for both you and Catherine."

He told her tenderly, making her raise an eyebrow at the last sentence.

"Catherine?"

She asked him with a soft smile, the fact that he remembered the name she had chosen long ago, warmed her heart.

"Yes wasn't that what you had planned to name her? Catherine Amy? It was what I told the nurse down there... but I am sure... we... you can change it if you want to..."

He stuttered nervously, making her smile widen a little it really was sweet how he had remembered and already taken care of naming her daughter that.

"No Will it was what I wanted to call her, if it was a girl... I just... I am just surprised you remember..."

She admitted gently, while wondering why he remembered, how he could remember such a thing.

"Of course I do... of course I remember!"

He stated, his eyes sparkling a little making her heart skip a beat while it filled her with warmth, at another time she would perhaps have stopped to consider what that might mean and why it might be, but right now she couldn't really care about that. All she wanted right now was to hear about her daughter.

"And she is alright? The low heart-rate? Is her heart alright?"

She asked nervously, and scared, worrying over her baby girl already.

"She is perfect, her heart is fine now. She is a fighter and a force to be reckoned with... she is small and tiny because she was born early and she is a little underweight, but Alicia she is perfect. She can even mostly breath on her own. She is a true miracle. Your mother says she looks exactly like you as a newborn."

He paused for a few seconds and she was about to say something then he continued:

"She is the most beautiful new born I have ever seen..."

A comment that brought tears to Alicia's eyes, both because of the words, and because of the weird overwhelming wave of emotions she felt wash her with those words.

"She is?"

Was all she could manage to say and he nodded his head smiling softly at her.

"Yes she is!" He said again.

"Who is with her? Is she alone? Can I see her?"

Alicia asked as she felt scared and sad once more fearing her little daughter, who might be alone right now, and that because of how all of this had happened would be alone a lot.

"Don't worry... she is not alone, Grace is down there looking after her right now... and it has after all only been a few hours... why don't you rest a bit while I go and check if there are any chance you can see her... it might be possible... as they did mention thinking you could nurse her then you woke up."

He explained to her just as her mother came back in.

"That sounds like a good plan … I can stay here with Alicia meanwhile."

Veronica offered, and Alicia looked over at her mother, a part of her didn't really want Will to leave her side, but she also really wanted to see her daughter, so she nodded softly.

"Thank you that would be amazing."

She smiled up at him, and took in a weird wave of emotions that passed through his gaze, some of those that scared her, and made her heart-rate spike, something that the monitor showed too, as it started to sound a little faster and louder, in a few minutes if she didn't calm down a nurse would probably be rushing in. It also made her feel an intense warmth build up in her stomach and chest, making her feel flushed, and she was pretty sure she was blushing. Unable to look into those emotions anymore she broke eye-contact and looked down. His gaze didn't move of her for another minute, so she nervously glanced up at him again through her thick dark eyelashes. His eyes still held those intense emotions that made her blush further, until he finally looked away and moved away from the bed saying he would be right back.

She didn't look back up before her mother sat down beside her instead.

"You don't have to worry. If Will wasn't in here while you slept he was in the NICU with Catherine."

Her mother told her, making Alicia's heart skip another beat.

"He was?"

She whispered, a bit surprised by the sound of that, she had expected he would see her daughter and that she had gotten confirmed but that he actually spent time down there, that he had been doing that a lot, now _that_ surprised her. Well surprised and pleased her at the same time.

"Yes he was. He was the first one to see her of us all."

Veronica told her, making Alicia blush again.

"Really?"

She asked unable to formulate any coherent thought. All of those spinning through her head were ones she was not yet ready to voice. Was it possible her and Will could actually work as a couple now? even though she just had another man's child.

She had given up on the idea of them together then she decided to have Peter's child once more, because even if she kept it hidden and Will was one of the only few that knew. It also made for an impossible situation. She shook her head, it still made for complicated and impossible and she couldn't focus on it right now. Right now all the focus she had should go to her baby girl. And yet there were a strange fluttering in her stomach at the thought of Will actually spending time with Catherine that wouldn't go away.

A feeling strangely resembling love.

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_okay i hope you enjoyed chapter one! let me know the thoughts, and again happy birthday Sab!_

_(AN: Cat's birthday is in december but you won't get a christmas chapter next i am gonna save that for X-mas;-) but her birthday is then because of a time line already etablished in Every Road!) _


	2. January: all that lies between us

_Here you go chapter 2 of this... hope you enjoy it my dear beloved Sabrina. You are still the best thing that has happened to me ever. And I still love you to pieces... I love being in your AW family again, I love sharing it with you again. And I will never get tired of telling you how much I love having you back in my life and having you every day again. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own the Good Wife! Does that really surprise anyone? _

* * *

_Confess to me, all that lies between us  
All that lies between you and me_

* * *

**All That Lies Between You And Me**

He had been studying her longer than he imagined, as she nuzzled around packing things up, brushing a lock of hair back behind her ear that was persistent in falling forward and into her face, teasing and annoying her soft cheek. She was the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on, there was no doubt about that, if it was now or twenty years ago when the same lock of hair kept annoying her as she studied the law of obligation, persistent in understanding it completely. He could never get enough of looking at her whatever she was dressed up like - the amazing lawyer she was or like now casually dressed, no make-up and her hair in a loose bun trying to hold it back a little.

He could see the hints of black lines under her eyes, not that it was surprising. He knew fully well she hadn't gotten enough sleep in the last month, ever since giving birth to her daughter. He would be lying if he said he had gotten enough sleep during that time, he had tried to be there at the hospital just as much as he could, between work and checking up on her when she was at home, and he might very well have gotten even less sleep than her. After all the first days while she still stayed at the hospital before getting sent home, he had to divided the time there between her and her little girl. That had meant more than one sleepless night or one with only a couple of hours of sleep. However he didn't regret a second of it, he wouldn't have had it any other way. For him there had been no choice of that matter.

The choice had been so clear that he had never hated anything more than when he took her home after she was released and he couldn't push off going back to work any longer. He knew he had already pushed it off too long and Diane had started to question why, and she hadn't been the only one. Kalinda had kept him updated on that front. Alicia had also more than once at that point told him he should go back into work, but he had excused himself with that it was Christmas time and he hadn't taken time off for the holiday in the last many years, he was allowed one year. But as the 27th rolled around, 1 1/2 week after Alicia had given birth, Alicia was now at home with her older kids on school holiday until after new year. So they were able to drive her to and from the hospital until she could once again drive on her own after having the C-section, so he no longer had an excuse to push it back any longer.

He couldn't remember a point other than when he was seeing Alicia during their steamy liaison where he wanted to quit the law to be free to do whatever he wanted (back there it had been to spend time with her), and it had been the same now. He wanted to quit it all so he could spent all his time with her and her baby girl. The little girl he had grown to love more and more every day.

He had until now never been able to understand completely what people that had kids meant, when they said it became all about what the child wanted or needed. He hadn't ever really been able to mentally understand how Alicia could let her children's wants and needs weight in so much that she could decide everything based on not hurting them, however the day Catherine Amy was born he understood it, and for each day he understood it better. He couldn't imagine anything he wouldn't do for the little girl. He had more than once wished she was really his, and there were no complications, but he had quickly understood it didn't matter. He doubted he could love her anymore if she was his in blood and not just bond. Because the little girl had his heart completely, and that wasn't about blood at all.

He hadn't ever imagined he could love a child of Peter _jackass _Florrick's as much as he did, but it was the truth. He had also started to care more about Alicia's other children through the Christmas he had been allowed to spent with the family. Truth be told he had never imagined Christmas as a grown up could be as amazing as this one had been, it had surprised him. He had enjoyed the family time, the warmth, the happiness, even the time divided between the hospital and Alicia's apartment. It had all been a part of making it perfect.

Now here he was a month later, and Alicia finally able to bring her daughter home. She had insisted that he didn't drop work today to help her, that she could handle it herself now she could drive again. He had tried to argue with her but she had made it clear she could handle it herself.

Yet here he was, he had been unable to stay away. And the situation had its perks, that he saw now. Because she didn't know he was here now he had time to enjoy the view of her. Enjoy studying her like he was, and he loved to be able to do that. Though it also made his heart ache.

He had still to talk to her about them, letting her know he wanted her, with children and all. That he dreamed about her every night, that he loved her more and more every day that passed. That he couldn't imagine his life without her in it, that all he ever wanted was her. All what he had promised himself he would tell her a month ago while she was still in surgery. He knew he should tell her but there had never seemed to be a good time for it so far, after all it wasn't just something to be blurted out. He sighed, he guessed it was all still put back to the shitty timing they seemed to have, actually shitty timing didn't cover it anymore. It was like they had no timing at all.

He had once told her to hell with bad timing they would talk, back then they had a talk where she told him she needed to be alone for a while. That she was going to divorce Peter, but she needed to sort her life out before anything else. Now however he seemed unable to finally get another talk with her, one where he told her timing didn't matter anymore he would do it all for her, screw timing they just had to make the timing theirs. He didn't know why it was so hard, but he had a feeling a lot of it came back to fear. A fear of rejection by her. What if she said no? What if she didn't want it? What if she didn't return his feelings? Most of the time he felt like she might very well feel like he did, but there were other times where he had no idea if she really could be feeling like that for him.

He didn't get any longer to dwell on it or study her, as she looked up meeting his gaze, like she realized she was being studied. He smiled hesitatingly at her and got one in return. Her eyes shining at him, and this was one of those moments he had no doubt she shared his feelings, and would return them if he told her how much he was in headless endless love with her. His heart's truest desire.

* * *

Alicia had known he had come the moment he walked down the hallway, and she had been a little surprised that he hadn't made himself known as soon as he came, but instead just stood there outside the NIUC. She had considered approaching him, but had quickly decided against it and instead enjoyed the warmth that filled her knowing he was standing there because he wanted to be there for her, that he was observing her with that soft warm and tender gaze of his. His eyes caressed her skin hair and soul, making her heart beat faster and her stomach flutter in thousands of butterflies. She was enjoying soaking in his gaze, and she knew the moment he knew she had noticed his presences he would stop it. So she had let it go on, enjoying every moment of it, and only looked up at him when she was almost done packing everything.

Now they were in the car on their way home to her apartment, in her car, the bigger of them. She would need to either drive him back to the hospital or ask Veronica or Grace to do so later, to get his own car again, even though he would probably not hear of it, she would make sure he didn't have to take a cab or the EL. Not when he had been so sweet to come to help her take Catherine home even though she said he shouldn't. However it had been a great help having him there, helping her carry some of all the things they needed to get down to the car, helping her by driving now so she could keep looking over at the back seat checking if her little girl was still alright. She knew Will was stealing glances at her again now, and she would be lying if she said she hadn't stolen a few of him herself.

As they had packed up all of Cat's things and carried them down to the car there had been a moment where she had thought he wanted to kiss her, but the kiss had never happened instead he had looked so confused and nervous after almost like he had gotten burnt. Something that confused her a lot. Over the last month there had been more than one of these moments, where she thought they were close to kissing but it didn't happen. And that confused her. It wasn't like she didn't want it, she actually did quite a lot, actually it seemed she wanted it more with every moment they spent together.

Her glance fell on the bracelet she had on. One he had given her the day after she had Cat. It was a charm bracelet, and the charms in it were some of the most thoughtful ones she had ever seen. One of them was a small silver heart, with "best Mom" written on it and a small golden flower with a tiny diamond in the middle attached to it. Another was a little silver stroller, and there was a tiny of pink boots and at last there were three small pearls and one bigger pearl.

She hadn't at first understood the meaning of those and looked at him for an explanation, one she hadn't gotten as he had just shrugged his shoulders and smiled at her. It was only until days later she had realized that Will knew she adored pearls and preferred them many times over diamonds. It wasn't actually until he gave her a gorgeous pair of pearl and diamond drop earrings for Christmas that she realized the true meaning of the pearls in her bracelet. That he had meant the three smaller ones to symbolize her now three children and the slightly bigger one to be herself. The thoughtfulness had made her tear up when he gave her the gift, and again as she realized the depth of his thoughtfulness. Both of those moments were ones where she had looked at him and his eyes and showed how he longed to kiss her and they had started to lean in, and both times the kiss hadn't happened.

Of course things were complicated right now, they were messy and confusing. And it was certainly harder now that she had Cat, a baby daughter that would need all her attention and love. It was a complication she hadn't thought she could ask Will to take on, her baby with another man. And yet for each day that passed she realized Will seemed to have taken it on all the same, having stepped up even without her asking him to. She had seen how he was with Cat by now, how much he cared for her, how gentle, loving and careful he was with her. Something that never ceased to warm her heart. And that convinced her they could probably make it work if they wanted, even with her baby daughter a part of her life now.

Right now as he took her home with her daughter for the first time it almost felt like they were a family and there was nothing complicated lying between them and causing them to not be together.

* * *

As they got to her apartment she took Cat while he carried some of the other things up, running down for the rest as she settled Cat in. She had just heard the front door close behind him as he went down for the last bag of things, as Cat woke, whimpering softly, whimpers that soon turned into cries, as Alicia rushed to her baby's cot, lifting her daughter up and into her arms cuddling her tightly against her chest. The movements Cat made soon letting her know her daughter was hungry, not that it should surprise her. It was hours since she had nursed her last. She carefully settled into the rocking chair she had gotten for Cat's nursery for exactly that purpose. She arranged her shirt and bra and Cat in a soft blanket as she settled her daughter in, starting to feed her, rocking slowly back and forward.

She stroked the light curls that had started to form on her daughter's head. Curls that were still so small, light and soft. It had been years more than a decade and a half since she had last had to deal with this. Last had to nurse her child, last had to deal with sleepless nights due to a baby that needed her constant presence there. Back then she had left her work to give her children that constant presence, she wouldn't be doing that this time, she couldn't, no matter the desire she felt right now to do just that to be there for her little girl.

She couldn't go back to the person she had been back then and the woman she was today would regret giving up the law once more. She had already been away from it for months now, to first keep her pregnancy hidden and then now a month after to take care of her baby. She knew it wouldn't be long before she went back in, especially now Cat was home from the hospital and doing as well as she was.

The thought of leaving her daughter through the day made her heart ache already. She wouldn't leave her until she found a reliable nanny for her, one she felt she could trust her baby with and not fear for her well-being. Her mother had already offered to help her out, and she had considered it and had settled on that she would ask her to be there a couple of days through the week together with the nanny, but she would need a full-time nanny, one she could also call in case she had to go back to work late or something similar.

She had been speculating about what to do for weeks now, and concluded it was needed, though it wouldn't be easy to find one she trusted and one she actually trusted not to leak anything to the press. She raised her worries to Will a few days ago, and he had seen her issue and said he would think of something. If it had been any other situation she would have been able to take her baby to the daycare in the same building as Lockhart and Gardner, the one most employees that had children used. But that one was way too risky. In the end Will had yesterday told her he had one he wanted her to meet.

It turned out his cousin, a woman in her late 30is, were a stay at home mom with a 5 year old and a 2 years old. She was a trained pediatrician, until she had quit to take care of her own children. Alicia had immediately liked her, and for the first time in years she had actually felt like she had found another female friend, one she could talk with and who she could trust, not counting Kalinda, because that was different, she would never be able to talk child care with Kalinda or similar things. But here she had found one she could talk about those things with, even with the age difference. And when Rachel offered to be the nanny for Cat, Alicia had accepted. Will's trust in his cousin had helped, along with how comfortable Alicia had already felt with the other woman. She trusted she wouldn't leak anything to the press, and that she would be able to care for her daughter along with her own children at the same time, plus it would be even better that her daughter was watched over by one with kids herself and kids her baby girl would be interacting with. Alicia knew her daughter's life would be isolated enough as it was, this would make it a little less isolated until she could get her in a childcare institution in a few years.

So that was what they had settled on: Rachel would be taking Cat when Alicia went back to work soon. Until she went back one day each week she would come over with Cat to Rachel so Cat could get used to the other woman and her kids, and Alicia could get a few hours to herself. The first time of this would be in a few days. Alicia had hesitated at first but she could see the point in it. Even though she had a strong feeling of that she should make the best of this time off and spent every second of it with Cat. However it would make it easier if she still kept this up: As long as Cat was still in the hospital and after Alicia had been sent home, she had been forced to get used to be a little separated from her new born if she now got used to having her all the time once again, going back to work would only be harder. Even though Rachel had been kind and smart enough to come up with the idea that when Alicia went back in she could take the three kids for a walk in a park nearby Lockhart and Gardner each day in the lunch break and Alicia if she was free could come and see them. An idea that had made Alicia's heart fill with joy and happiness. That would make the whole thing a little easier.

Rachel had also understood Alicia's working hours and said they wouldn't be a problem, and Alicia knew if they at some point would be she still had her mother who had really stepped up first the last few months of her pregnancy but also in this last month after she had given birth. Her mother had moved back to Chicago to help her, in an apartment not that far from Alicia's, and she had been a better help than Alicia could ever have imagined in the past.

"Oh I am sorry... I didn't know... I will go now... and let you..."

She was pulled from her thoughts by a blabbering Will that had walked back into the room and now stood like nailed to the floor trying to look everywhere but at her and her daughter. Not that she could blame him, so far there had been no episodes of her nursing Cat and him seeing it. She knew fully well it was a private moment, though many didn't treat it as that. She also knew Will would probably be finding it even more awkward because of her bared chest and their complicated relationship, not that he could see much with the way she held Cat. Yet she also realized she wouldn't mind that he stayed there. Something she wasn't comfortable with many people doing.

She had never been one that nursed in public or did it no matter who ever happened to be in the room. She had never really been comfortable with that, but she suddenly knew she didn't mind that Will was there at all, actually it only made her feel warmer that he was. She looked up at him with a soft smile and shook her head.

"Will you don't need to leave.."

She whispered, her voice soft and tender, a part of her actually wished to ask him to stay with her, but she couldn't go there yet. He might be uncomfortable with seeing her like this, it was after all not everybody found women nursing appealing. Jackie and been shocked the first time she found out that Peter sometimes stayed while Alicia nursed.

He looked nervous and scared to look at her, she wished she knew what else she could say to make him more relaxed with this.

"Are you sure? I mean..."

He started to say while glancing at her, his eyes nervous though tender and loving at the same time. She smiled at him gently.

"I know... It is okay... I don't mind."

She told him with a sweet smile playing on her lips.

He nodded a bit nervously and placed the last couple of bags he had brought up on the floor and took a seat in a soft arm chair she had also placed in the room. She glanced around in the room, it was painted in a soft light peach color. She hadn't managed to finish decorating or painting it when she went into the hospital a month ago, after all she had thought she still had weeks before she was in risk of giving birth. So the painting and decoration of the room had been Zach's and Grace's Christmas present to her when she returned home from the hospital a few days before Christmas. They had unpacked the furniture she had gotten for it and before she went into labor they had painted it, and put everything in order.

She knew Will had probably helped a lot more than the kids and him had admitted, and she hadn't pointed it out to him though she knew, because it seemed like they wished to keep it a secret among them. Still it touched her heart, and she was pretty sure she couldn't have found a better color and have done it better herself. She looked over at him and smiled as she found him smiling at her or maybe it was the picture of her and Cat, never the less she found him looking at them with a soft smile playing on his lips.

Their eyes locked and they kept sitting like that for a few seconds. Until she realized Cat was done with her lunch and had fallen back asleep. She shook her head lightly, looks like her baby had decided for herself whether she wanted to be burped or not. Alicia started to carefully move her around so she could redress and get up to place Cat in the bed. Harder said than done when she didn't want to wake her up.

"Here, do you want me to take her?"

Will stood up and stepped over to her, intending on helping her.

Alicia nodded gently.

"Thank you." She whispered softly.

He smiled at her and started to lean down and in so he could take sleeping Cat from her arms.

As he moved down and closer their heads managed to bump into each other making them both pull back a little, their gaze meeting and holding for a few seconds.

"I am sorry..."

He whispered, his face incredible close to hers, and she nodded softly as she unconsciously licked her lips.

"Alicia..."

He breathed out softly still not moving away, or taking Cat like planned. Instead his hand found its way to her hair, pushing a lock that had fallen in front of her face back behind her ear. She tilted her head a little against his hand and smiled over his movement, it was like he had known how much she was bothered by that lock of hair that never seemed to stay in place.

"Will.."

She breathed softly, her eyes never leaving his. Her stomach was fluttering and this was for sure one of those moments she expected him to kiss her, one of those that over the last month had ended with him pulling back and looking apologizing at her. She was pretty sure most of the other moments had been more fitting than her in her daughter's nursery, after having just fed her and the little girl sleeping in her arms. Yet as he leaned in and finally brushed his lips over hers in one of the softest and sweetest of kisses she had ever received, she couldn't have imagined a more perfect kiss. Her eyes fluttered close and she returned it just as softly and hesitatingly.

_The kiss she knew with everything in her was one of love. _

* * *

_So please review and let me know what you think of this? hope you enjoyed reading it as much as i loved writing it:-) _


	3. February: This Is the Story of Us All

_Here you go my dear Sabby your monthly gift... hope you enjoy this one as much as the other months... I am so glad to have you in my life._

_And a huge(!) thank you to steffi for betaing this thank you! also for the help I needed with the troubles of this chapter, the same goes for Jule thank you for the advices and talk, and Jodes for a bit of ass kicking to ge me writing... _

_I don't own The Good Wife_

* * *

_This is the clock upon the wall  
This is the story of us all _

* * *

**February: This Is the Story of Us All**

Finding time for a date, a real one, where she allowed him to take her to dinner and wear a dress and heels were anything but easy when you had a newborn. A newborn you felt bad for leaving, even when you had a nanny you liked and trusted. Even when everyone said it was alright to have time for yourself. And even more when you also had a teenage daughter to check up on and to make sure she wouldn't felt left alone or pushed aside because of the newest addition to the family. So that meant that the last month ever since the kiss she had shared with Will in Catherine's nursery had been spent trying to navigate them as well as Catherine, something that hadn't gone too well as she really hadn't felt right in leaving her daughter for a night of going out.

So seeing Will had consisted in him coming over to her place. And romance wasn't easily handled when they were interrupted, at the worst of times by Catherine waking up and needing her. More than one kiss had been interrupted that way because the baby alarm had gone off and she had rushed to her daughter's side. She was actually surprised how well Will took it, how understanding he was being and how much he tried to help out. How he cooked for her and Grace more than once, how helped look after Cat if she had a shower or something and it wasn't at a time of the week or day where Rachel was taking care of her or Grace was out or had homework.

It had shocked her how much he willingly involved himself in their daily life even now when they were back home and he worked and she had a living and breathing baby to take care of. And most impressive was how he did it on instinct. Of course it was different now that they seemed to have started something again even though more unspoken than anything and mostly consisting of a few kisses and shared meals where she usually had to fight to keep awake. And more than once hadn't been able to remember finishing or how she went from the table to the couch.

Apparently now that she was home Cat had decided that it was better to turn day into night and night into day. And she hadn't slept a full night the last month. She also knew it was Will that had ended up carrying her to those more comfortable places and had more than once looked after Cat until she wouldn't just take comfort in his arms or her pacifier or being changed... another thing that had shocked her Will willingly helped her out with, not even mentioning it. All of these things were what had made her make sure that tonight at least should be made to be perfect for them, but especially for him.

She had Rachel looking after Cat a few days before while she went shopping for a dress. She hadn't really felt like her old prettier clothes fitted her well or looked good on her post pregnancy. Some of them, a lot actually she didn't even seem to fit into anymore but her maternity clothes were not exactly fitting anymore now, either. She had needed something she felt well in and thought made her look attractive, too. She also got matching underwear before she went to get a beauty treatment. She had made sure to make a dinner reservation ahead of time, knowing the day might create more trouble than good was if she didn't do that.

She had wanted to give them this, to give him this because with whatever they were starting again she knew he had longed for the freedom to actually go out like a normal couple, and that had not exactly been an option until now. The last month though had convinced her they could maybe really make this work, something she had given up hope on, but where the month while Cat was still in the hospital had given her hints of hope, this month had convinced her. How he took that kisses sometimes were ended before they were started, that candle light dinners were not the best of ideas when she ended up falling asleep over the pasta. How he wasn't assuming he was invited to stay through the night or if he did that it meant sex. She knew she couldn't have found a more loving and tender boyfriend or whatever she could call him now at this point.

He had been surprised but happy when she told him, though he had also insisted it wasn't necessary. Yet when he had showed up that night and taken in the sight of her in the sleek green dress that made her eyes stand out even more, and she saw the appreciation on his face she once more knew she had done the right thing. He had been amazing, showing up with a red rose for her and before leaving her apartment as she put on her jewelry, the pearls she had gotten from him and the bracelet, he shyly handed her another velvet box she nervously opened, only to find another charm for the bracelet. This one a silver locket heart with a tiny diamond on the front. He smiled at her and told her she could use it for a picture of Cat.

Alicia had turned to him, tears in her eyes and she kissed him softly as a thank you while she asked if it meant he was her valentine, something he had nodded at grinningly. Their tender moment might have been longer if her mother hadn't interrupted them, more or less pushing them out of the apartment. Making Alicia regret a little that she had gotten her mother to look after Catherine instead of Rachel, but it had been smarter as she had made sure her Mom was okay with staying the whole night and had it covered with everything there could possibly be needed except in emergencies.

And when she managed to kiss Will on the way down in the elevator she was pretty sure it was a smart move, not to risk the night getting interrupted, she owed him that, their first night actually spent together where she wasn't either walking with her daughter, singing every single nursery rhythm she had ever heard or dead asleep. This night deserved to be special. Even if it meant her daughter being bottle feed through the night and her mother babysitting.

Dinner was a perfect affair of friendly banter, flirting, stories of work, catching up and what else they could cover, as well as much hand holding across the table when they could get away with it. She was amazed with how words didn't need to be spoken between them, that Will's eyes told her all she needed to know most of the time. He didn't order for her and she was grateful that he knew her well enough to know she hated someone not letting her decide what she would like to eat herself. They didn't even get the same thing and it made her feel relieved, they were both comfortable enough with each other to let that up. The only issue came when they were to pay and he wouldn't let her even though as she said it was she that had invited him for dinner. However he wouldn't let her, insisted he would pay for the meal, his male pride getting in the way.

* * *

Dinner had been amazing, even perfect, he had been on cloud nine when she had first mentioned it to him, until he realized what it would mean to her regarding Catherine. He had tried to talk her out of it, also when he considered how it would feel to leave the little girl for what? Adult fun? Because they couldn't really make it work around a baby? And he didn't like that at all. He loved Catherine more and more each day that passed, and he loved seeing the softer side of Alicia, the side only her close family and children saw, he loved being able to see mother Alicia. He had never until now considered how huge a turn on that could be, but more so how it could make his heart burst with joy and love every time he witnessed it. Yet dinner had been agreed on as Alicia wasn't backing down. They were going to go for a real date night on Valentine's day. He had been a little surprised by her romantic choice of date, until she admitted it was so close to month after their kiss that had officially begun them again that she found it fitting.

As they got into the car after leaving the restaurant he drove them down to the pier. It was cold, freezing actually and he knew she might be cold but he also knew she loved the place. They strolled along the pier together, talking while moving closer for each step they took until he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, protecting her from the cold as they continued to slender along the water side. Her head finding a place against him, as she leaned into his body, accepting the warmth he was trying to offer her.

Their talking subsided while they walked, falling into comfortable silence, he didn't know many people he felt comfortable being with and not having to spent every moment talking like he did in Alicia's company. And it was amazing. Yet he worried, because he wasn't sure on what the next move should be, what he could expect or allow it to be. He knew it would be hard for her being away from Cat through the night, it had to be hard to be away right now. And he didn't expect more, having her in his arms like he did right now was amazing itself, and even if they waited longer he didn't mind it being at her place where they could go to Catherine should she need them.

They hadn't slept together yet since they started this up again and he wasn't about to assume anything. He knew women couldn't have sex many weeks after giving birth normally and he wasn't sure if it was the same with a c-section. And he hadn't wanted to ask. To assume any such thing, especially when Alicia was spending most of her time now with Cat on her arm sleeping or half sleeping. It would come, once it had been all he was allowed from her now it wasn't. And no matter how much he desired her and always had, being able to spent time with her and be allowed to care for her and have it welcomed, be allowed to stay for dinner, to hold her hand and to kiss her as he wanted, all of that was wonderful having the freedom to do.

That was why he was surprised when she stopped them and kissed him softly as she asked him to take her home, first he thought he meant back to her apartment, but she kissed him again mumbling against his lips to take her to his place.

He pulled back pressing their foreheads together while breathlessly asking if she was sure, that they could go to her place. They could go home to check on Cat. However she kissed him again and again, convincing him with her lips and hands and kisses that she was sure. On the ride their hands were clasped between them, fingers laced together. And the moment they were inside the safety of his apartment they kissed, kisses that were less chaste than most of those they had recently been sharing. Their hands were pulling at clothes, leaving him in no doubt she needed this as much as he did. As he undressed her and took in the sight of her in a black silk under-dress, he teased her if they hadn't gone out of style many years ago, making her laugh in response as she let him pull it off her along with the rest of the black lace covering her milky white skin from his burning eyes. It wasn't until she was lying under him and he kissed down her collarbone placing soft kisses on both her tender breasts, larger than usually due to her newborn still nursing daughter. As he finally got to her abdomen she seemed to grow self conscious, hiding her body from his gaze with her hands, not letting him see her.

"Alicia what is wrong... do you want me to stop?" He reached up and kissed her lips gently, as she shook her head.

"No... please make love to me..." She whispered against his lips as he stole another kiss her breathless voice arousing him further.

"I am Alicia... but what is wrong, sweetheart?" he asked her again, still unsure why she had suddenly hidden herself from him, until he saw the small traces of tears glimmering in her eyes.

"Don't cry, please don't cry..." He whispered as he wiped them away.

She smiled softly up at him and nodded.

"It is just the scar... it is not very attractive..." Will wondered for a few seconds what she meant before realizing it was the one from having Cat. He looked at her with tender eyes.

"Not a single part of you is unattractive to me, Alicia, or have ever been... you are the most beautiful woman I ever met." He whispered and kissed her again, before moving carefully down again kissing between her breasts and making a hot path down to her stomach where he carefully removed her hands trying to hide the scar from his eyes. He gently placed a soft kiss on top of it letting his lips drift down over it touching it gently with his lips. Adoring the mark left as a reminder of Cat on her body like he adored every other inch of her body. He touched stroked and caressed her all over. Placing kisses on every part of her until she was whimpering and squirming in pleasure, and only then did he move back up and kissed her lips gently as he reached over and got a condom which he put on before covering her body and entering her gently making her sigh and arch up against him her arms finding their way around him and holding him close. Their movements were slow and unhurried like they had all the time in the world.

* * *

Alicia had studied him first as he drifted off to sleep. Her head resting on his chest as she cuddled into his warmth body, her head moving each time he breathed in and out. She had laid there until she drifted off to sleep as well, only to wake up later in the night in the same position - still cuddled up completely into him, his body heat keeping her warm. She had always loved sleeping like this with him, back in Georgetown or later for their 8 months of passion. She studied his face, something she always found fascinating, how his worries over job and life seemed to disappear with sleep and how he seemed to always sleep with a small smile on his lips, making her wonder if it was her that made him smile or if it was just how he was. She wanted to kiss him but at the same time she didn't want to wake him up.

She carefully slipped out of his embrace, missing the warmth right away. She made sure to not make a sound as she slipped through the bedroom finding the silk slip she had on earlier and slipping it on along with his shirt as she couldn't seem to find a robe of his. She sneaked over to the balcony door and carefully opened it and stepped outside, shuddering because of the contrast from the warm bedroom and Will's body heat to the freezing February air outside. Still she stepped outside, knowing it wouldn't be long as it was too cold, but still the air was fresh and breathing it in felt good along with chilling. She had been smart enough to find a pair of Will's socks first before stepping outside which was good. It made sure her feet didn't become ice-cubes like her legs. Yet she was stubborn and didn't want to go back inside just yet. She had always liked his balcony from the first time she spent a night in his apartment to now. It had the most amazing view and she loved it. She knew if she ever moved she wanted to make sure her next place had a balcony, too. It had been one of the things she missed form the house in Highland Park where they did have one not from the master's bedroom but still there was a balcony. She admired the lights of the city as she stood there shuddering lightly from the cold.

* * *

Alicia was not sure how long she had been standing there, when she felt a pair of arms being wrapped around her from behind and someone placing a soft kiss on her shoulder before resting his head upon hers. She leaned back against his soft body which was now wrapped around her.

"I missed you." He mumbled into her hair. "The bed was cold without you..." Something that made her laugh softly.

"I am sorry, I woke up and couldn't sleep," she admitted.

"You miss Cat, right? Not able to sleep away from her?" He asked her gently and Alicia nodded, because that was exactly what had made sleep impossible. Missing her daughter.

"We shouldn't have asked your mother to take her tonight. We could just have gone to your place. I wouldn't have minded." Will told her while placing soft kisses on her throat.

"Yeah, but it was our first real date so I didn't want us to worry about her or getting interrupted." Alicia admitted.

"How many times do I have to tell you I do not mind, I like having her around and spending time with her." He smiled against her skin, making Alicia laugh.

"You know I love her right?" Will asked and Alicia nodded, she did know that. "Just like I love her mother." Alicia stiffened, and turned around in his arms so she could look up at him. She smiled at him, her stomach filled with butterflies, basking in nervous excitement. Of course she had known he loved her for a long time, but he had never before really told her so directly.

"You do?" She asked, giving him a soft teasing smile.

"I do... I love you Alicia... I am in love with you and I am pretty sure I have been in love with you ever since Georgetown," he told her as he looked into her eyes and lifted a hand to gently caress her cheek.

"I love you too..." She whispered softly, enjoying the bright smile that grew on his face, at the sound of her words. "And I love you even more for also loving my children... I know how difficult it must be..." She started, but he interrupted her.

"They are a part of you. That is what makes it so very easy to love them. I can't say it was easy when you first told me you were pregnant again and even less so when I learned it was Peter's, and the whole story of keeping it secret. But it has never made it harder to love Cat or care about any of your kids. How could it Alicia... they all have a part of you in them." She smiled at him as she felt a tear slide down her cheek, one he caught and brushed away before he pulled her into a sweet soft kiss. He pulled back a moment after:

"I love you." he told her tenderly once more before he lowered his mouth to hers once more so he could kiss her again. His lips met hers and his tongue swept along her bottom-lip begging for entrance to her hot cavern, she willingly gave him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her fingers starting to pull at his soft hair. His hands ran down her sides over the material of the shirt, down to the hem, and then up under it so he was touching her bare thighs. She moaned into the kiss and pushed herself closer against him, needing him badly all over.

She didn't feel the freezing air on her skin anymore as he had her against him, all she felt was the shivers of anticipation for their next move, for the next kiss ,the next touch. She hadn't realized until now how much she had missed having him like this, too. How much she had missed their insanely passionate sexual chemistry. She loved him with all of her heart and needed him in her life just as much, she hadn't realized how much until now, and that was her mistake. His hands crept up over her bottom squeezing it gently and pulling her further against him until he slid a hand down and lifted her thigh up, making her wrap her leg around him for support and grasp his shoulders tightly. He lifted her further up making her wrap both legs around him as he pressed her lightly against the cold wall of his balcony, while his intentions became clear to her. The air was freezing and he wanted to make love to her out here. She considered protesting, they really should go back inside they would freeze to death from this. Will broke the kiss and rested their foreheads together.

"Trust me Alicia... I will make sure you get warm again after..." He whispered and she could do nothing but nod. It was crazy, and thrilling, and something they sure hadn't done in the past. She trusted him with everything else at this point why shouldn't she trust him here. He pushed his sweatpants down somehow and got his shirt and her slip out of the way before he carefully entered her burning core with one swift move. She hadn't needed foreplay kissing him and hearing his love for her and her children voiced for the first time had been enough to have her soaking wet. She couldn't imagine a greater turn on than hearing that he loved not only her but her kids as well, cared for them and wanted to be a part of their lives.

He moved slowly in and out of her, the chilling air which probably held the first traces of snow, was a sharp contrast to the heat between them. Once during the affair he had spent hours teasing her with ice cubes on her burning skin, this was in some way similar and gave the same intense feeling. As he finally spilled himself inside her while she cried out in pleasure of her own orgasm she knew she had been smart when she had the doctor prescribe the birth control pill for her on her last post pregnancy check up and she had been careful with taking them. Will didn't put her down like she would have expected instead he kept his hold on her and carried her back inside again and into the bathroom. In the bathroom he carefully placed her on the counter while he went and turned on the water for the bathtub and poured soap into it, and found a couple of fluffy warm towels, before he turned to her.

"I promised to warm you up didn't I?" He offered her a hand to help her down from the counter. She took it and moved down and up to him kissing him softly before, pushing his socks off and slipping of his pink shirt and then her own black silk. Standing there naked before him she once more felt self conscious, her body really wasn't what it had been when he had seen her through the affair, stretch marks from pregnancy and the scar we visible on her abdomen.

She was glad she had at least gotten the beauty treatment a few days ago knowing he would appreciate it if they did sleep together, and it was the least when she already felt herself less attractive than normally, making sure she got her nails done as well as her legs and other body parts waxed was the least of it, even the small stinging pain of a Brazilian was worth it as she knew he would have eyes glowing with desire. Just like they were now, gliding over her naked frame making her want to cover up a bit more again as it was almost too much. Yet the love and desire shining in his eyes told her she had nothing to be ashamed of, that when he told her she was the most beautiful woman he had ever met he meant it. She smiled flirtingly at him as she stepped over and up into the bathtub, lowering herself into the warm water before moving a bit forward so he could get in behind her.

The warm water felt amazing while at the same time almost burning, making her skin sting. Her eyes stayed locked with Will's for a few seconds, before he pulled his clothes fully off and moved to join her in the water. Sliding in behind her and pulling her tight against his chest legs on each side of her as she pressed up against him. She rested her head on his bare chest placing a gentle kiss there.

"Is this working for warming you up again?" He asked her as he kissed the crown of her head, and she nodded.

"It is perfect." She closed her eyes and cuddled even more into him.

"Are you okay Alicia? Are you cold or hurt... I know it was a bit stupid and..." She didn't allow him to finish but moved up and placed a finger on his lips silencing and then kissing him before lowering herself back down into the warm water.

"It is perfect Will... all of it is perfect..." She whispered softly into his chest. His hand found hers and squeezed it.

"I love you..." He told her gently once more, making her realize she really couldn't get enough of hearing those words or saying them. It had taken them so many years of bad timing and finally it seemed to be the right timing and to be alright to share those words and feelings, and that made it feel liberating telling him those three words over and over. She looked up at him and returned them once more.

"I love you too..." He reached in and kissed her, this one being a promise of their shared future.


	4. March: We are the Boxers in the Ring

_Here you go my dear Sabby one monthly present... hope you enjoy this one too ;-) like the ones before..._

_I don't own the goodwife... or we would be sure to get an AW baby sooner rather than later._

* * *

_We are the boxers in the ring  
We are the bells that never sing _

* * *

**March: We are the boxers in the ring **

Going back to work was not as easy as she could have wished. It was one of the hardest things she could ever remember doing. Saying goodbye to Rachel and her little baby daughter, and driving into work. Walking through the lobby and taking the elevator up. Already in there being faced with others. How they looked at her with a mix of worry and pity. They had all probably heard rumors of her depression and stress that had made her take the long leave (the official excuse her and Will had used). Now here she was back on. She had to admit now she was relieved she had stayed with Lockhart/Gardner and not left with Cary or something similar. It was already hard enough with a baby no one knew about. But if she had done that and would have had to take care of her own firm, too, a firm that might very well be failing or lacking because of the hard economy and all such things, it would only have been worse.

So today she was happy that people might look at her weirdly but she still returned to one of the Chicago's top firms, as an equity partner. That she could walk into a big office and though it would be a long day: She also knew she could go safely home tonight, hopefully not too late, and take care of Cat. That she wouldn't have to struggle economically to provide for her little girl, Grace or Zach that she had all needed to take care of them. She had to smile though as she nodded at her assistant that grinned happily and stood up to hug her and welcome her back. She continued into her office and stopped dead in her tracks. There on her desk was a gigantic bouquet of mixed tulips, red, cream, yellow and variegated ones. She stared at it in surprise for a seconds before regaining herself. She suddenly felt lighter and was smiling. Only Will could be that thoughtful and romantic with her. She walked over and studied the flowers and smelled them. She caught sight of the card attached and picked up, reading it. Tears were forming in her eyes because of the words: "Loved you once, love you still, always have and always, Will."

It was sweet and he couldn't be sweeter. Not only ordering her flowers but making sure she remembered his love for her first thing back at work. He knew she would need it to face this day. She sighed. She hadn't talked to him since last night. She had grown used to having him in her bed, going to sleep beside him, and waking up beside him once more. That was how it had been ever since they had started fully up again, after their valentines date. Last night however he had to work late. He had told her he didn't want to disturb her or Cat at night, knowing she would have a long day today. So it had only gotten to goodnight and I love you exchanged over the phone. Something that had Grace roll her eyes, though she didn't mind she still teased Alicia with how she could be with Will. Telling her she was supposed to be the teen girl, not Alicia.

"I see Will really has not been looking like a giggling fool for nothing..." Someone told her, making Alicia spin around meeting Kalinda who stood at the door. The investigator looked like she had a hard time not laughing for once. Something that had Alicia rolling her eyes.

"Hi Kalinda..." She said. She hadn't seen her since she almost two months ago showed up with a gift for her and Cat.

"Welcome back... I knew you were together with Will I just didn't realize how romantic he has gotten..." Kalinda nodded at the flowers, making Alicia blush a little.

"I assumed he had told you..." She answered, not really sure what else she could.

"Not so far, but I figured it out when he came to work smiling like a 1000 watt light bulb." Kalinda teased her.

"Yeah... I guess it makes sense... I guess I should go see him or Diane though, figuring out where to get started." Alicia answered and Kalinda nodded.

"Well that is actually why I came here. I have the stuff you will need for the case Will has gotten you on... so unless you really _need_ to go see him..." Kalinda continued, making Alicia roll her eyes. She shook her head.

"No let's get started..." She figured it was better. After all they would later in the day tell Diane about their relationship and it was better done if she didn't already find Alicia slacking off at work, her first day back. So no nookie for the morning. She did manage to text Will a thank you with a heart smiley, one Grace had managed to teach her how to do.

The day came to a close and Alicia now had cases going, having forgotten both time and place as she got caught up. She was pulled from her thoughts by a knock on her door, looking up to meet Will's eyes. She smiled the moment she saw him standing there.

* * *

He had studied her before coming to her office. All day he had waited for a chance to go see her, but none had come. He had instead been caught up in court and meetings. He hadn't even seen her for lunch. However he had made sure to order pizza for her and have it delivered, so she didn't forget to eat. Now he finally got a free moment as the day was ending. He needed to see her and let her know he thought he better tell Diane about them on his own. First they had decided to do it together. However as he thought more about it through the day he saw he needed to do it himself. They had pushed it back until now when she was back at work. However none of them wished for a secret affair once more. He wanted to be able to come in with her in the mornings, to hold her hand, to kiss her in the hallways because he could. He wanted to get to take her to real lunch on cafes and restaurants without it being an issue. That first and foremost meant telling Diane.

"Hey how was your first day?" He asked her as he stepped into the room. She smiled up at him and stood up from her desk, walking towards him.

He wasn't sure what he was allowed to do here, no matter how much he longed to take her in his arms and kiss her. At least not until they told Diane about them and got it out. However Alicia took it out of his hands by stepping all the way up to him and reaching in, giving him a soft kiss on the lips.

"Thank you for the flowers... it was a very thoughtful of you... and thank you for lunch..." She whispered as she pulled back. He smiled at her and reached up to caress her cheek. He didn't really care if anyone saw them. Not when he was the luckiest man in the world having this amazing woman as his girlfriend.

"You are welcome... I hope your day went well... I am sorry I didn't have time to take you out for lunch..." He told her gently, and she nodded. He knew she understood. She knew how it could be with lawyers.

"Don't worry about it... the pizza was perfect. And I managed to sneak out for ten minutes in the park to see Cat.." She told him softly, her eyes lighting up as she mentioned her daughter. Something he loved seeing.

"Are you heading home soon?" He asked and she nodded.

"Yeah I think so. Should we go see Diane now?" She offered, and he sighed.

"About that... why don't you head home I will go see her and tell her and come over when done..." He could see she was about to protest. "No Alicia, I've been thinking about it, and I really should do this one on my own. It will be easier this way. I can also talk to her about how she can take over all contract related and economical things with you. Salary bumps and bonuses, all of that. That she will from now on be the one to lead those things... Just so no partner thinks you get more because of us. Yes, it is easier now you are an equity partner but it is still smarter to get Diane on it this way..." He explained slowly and she nodded.

"It does make sense... but Will, I should be there when you tell her. I should take my share of the heat..." She told him, but he shook his head.

"Alicia I need to do this one myself... I owe her that much... to do it right this time... go home for today... see Cat... I will be there in about an hour. I am sure she will talk to you about it tomorrow. But let me be the one to break the ice..." He told her, and she nodded slowly.

"About that Will... you should probably go before she learns from the rumor mill... There seems to be a lot of talk going on because of that kiss..." He glanced over his shoulder. He followed Alicia's gaze and had to agree. A lot seemed to be glancing over at them and they all looked as if they were gossiping.

"I will... see you later?" He asked and she nodded.

"Yes, come over... you can watch Cat while I cook if it is alright?" She smiled hesitatingly. Something he still found adorable. She couldn't wrap her head around that no matter how many times he said he loved helping with Cat. Still she wasn't sure on asking for help.

"Deal... you know I love you, right?" He told her as he started to leave, making her grin a little.

"I know..." He started to turn around.

"Will?" She called him back, and he turned his head.

"I love you too..." She offered, and he grinned. A grin that hadn't left his face as he walked into Diane's office.

"Diane do you have a moment to talk?" He asked as he stepped in. She looked up at him from her papers. He was sure she was studying his grin. Probably wondering why he looked like he just won in the lottery.

"Sure, what about?" She asked as she took off her reading glasses. She pushed her chair back and got up. She moved around and found a bottle of scotch she held up, asking him silently if he wanted one. For seconds he was tempted. However he needed to drive home soon, so he shook his head.

"No thanks, but go ahead..." She looked at him suspiciously for a few seconds and took a small glass herself. She looked serious now as she sat down again and studied him.

"What is wrong?" She asked him directly. Will could feel sweat forming on his palms.

"I need to tell you something... and I need to ask you a favor... It's about Alicia..." He offered with a sigh. He felt nervous and he really hoped she would take it better than last time.

She looked confused for a moment, and took a sip of her glass. Though Something in her eyes told him she might already have seen where this was going.

"What about her? From what I saw she seemed to adjust right back into things... I hope she doesn't need another leave soon..." She told him. He felt a little proud for Alicia, that Diane also though she settled right back in. However Diane was clearly not going to make this one easy from him. Since the look in her eyes told him she already suspected what it was about.

"No. nothing like that... I need to ask you to take over all contract related things with her, all bumps or cuts or bonuses should be your approach or the other equity partners. Just so all seems fair... She and I.. We are..." He looked for a word. Calling her his girlfriend seemed juvenile, his lady friend sounded cheap. Lover was wrong, and fiancée didn't work at this point for them. He honestly had no idea what to name what Alicia was to him. What do you call your soul mate you finally really started dating many years too late?

Diane's eyes grew wide for a few seconds.

"You and Alicia?" She asked him, probably to make sure she had gotten it correct. That it really was what he had come to talk about.

"Yes, we are together..." He settled on for lack of a better word. For a few moments Diane didn't say anything. Then she nodded, almost like she was in deep thought. Will had feared she would be angry over this one. Ask him to keep his pants shut or something alike.

"Well at least she is over 25, making her look better for the firm as your date for the gala next month. I guess it means you will be bringing a plus one I can sign you down for..." She offered as answer. Will let out a sigh of relief. It had gone easier than expected.

"Yeah, I guess I will..." He answered. To be fair, he hadn't even really considered that one. However the idea did make him smile. The chance of getting to bring Alicia as his date to one of those parties.

"I will take care of those things... don't worry. She is a good lawyer... and as long as you both keep it out of here..." Diane sighed, and looked at him. The last part was reprimanding. He knew she didn't want a mess again. "I can't really tell you off for it Will. I chose love myself over career not so long ago... " She offered up and he nodded.

"Thank you... and thank you for... the help..." He settled on, not sure what really he could say to that one. _Thank you for not getting angry at us both?_ Didn't seem right. Not when she had just fully accepted he was with Alicia. That he needed her help in Alicia's situation at work.

"You are welcome... also Will please don't let there be any backlash this time... I wouldn't have approved if she was still married or we risked getting in trouble with the states attorney again because of it." Will nodded. He already knew that. That it was different this time, as the game was laid out better. He got up from the chair.

"I better get home... thank you again Diane..." He offered and she nodded.

"Will... can I ask how long it has been going on? Is it the reason for your extraordinary good mood lately?" She looked at him, and he nodded.

"It's been going on for a little while... we just didn't want to tell it here before she came back... and yes it is... " he offered, his face cracking into another grin.

"In that case: I am happy for you..." She offered him with a smile and nod. "Say hi to Alicia from me... and tell her I expect her to come find me at some point tomorrow..." Diane told him, and Will nodded. It didn't surprise him. "It's about a case..." She offered.

"I will, thank you... just please don't be too hard on her with this..." Diane nodded at him and smiled a little.

* * *

She liked these episodes where she got to cook. Grace was doing homework, and Will was looking after Cat. It was almost like they were a real family. Like it was something they had done in forever and not something new. She could hear the sounds of the TV. She assumed Will had it on while trickling Cat or something similar. She had fed her already but her little girl didn't seem to have any desire to sleep yet. So when Will came back from his meeting with Diane, he had offered they could just order in but she had insisted on cooking. He had then taken Cat to look after while she made dinner. Now the sauce was simmering, the salad made and the pasta boiling. She stood for a moment enjoy the feeling of once again having a somewhat stable family, and the feeling of serene peace and happiness it gave her.

She walked over so she could look into the living-room. The sight of Will with baby Cat that actually seemed to be sleeping was one she would never get tired of. And that was when she discovered Will was actually watching. Some kind of 3D cartoon. She cracked a smile. Big Chicago's 16th most eligible bachelor watching something that looked like a princess cartoon. She walked in and closer to him reaching down and in over him. She bend so she could wrap her arms around him from behind. She rested her cheek on his shoulder. His one hand came to cover hers. "You got her to sleep?" Alicia whispered, scared to wake Cat up again. Though she guessed there were little to no chance of it with the TV running already. The music from it rather loud. She stared at the screen for a few seconds.

"Of course I did... " He teased her and turned his head so he could kiss her cheek softly.

"Will, what are you watching?" She asked him as she tried to wrap her head around the program of some little princess and a speaking bunny.

"Sofia the First." He offered and Alicia raised an eyebrow.

"You do know Cat is too little to understand it, right? That there will be hopefully years before she will want to watch and understand something like this." Alicia teased him gently. She had to admit the idea that he had settled on a kid show for her baby girl was adorable. No matter if little Cat would understand the show or not.

"Yeah I do... I just figured there would be no risk of images scaring her or giving her traumas or something from sounds with this... rather than something I wanted to watch. And since there was no interesting game on anyway... well, I figured this was fine..." He explained, making her giggle.

"Hey no making fun of me... I think it actually seems like it could be a giving show for little girls..." Will told her in an effort to sound serious, but not really succeeding.

"I see... well I wonder what all the magazines would say to this story. Chicago's 16th most eligible bachelor, watching Disney channel in his free time." She teased him, and she could feel him chuckle lightly.

"I am sure it would shock them... though I guess they would cry more over how he was off the marked now... since there is this lawyer... she is kinda bright and beautiful. Though also teasing a lot... that already caught him..." He answered her, making her heart skip a beat. Just like it always did when he told her things like this.

"I guess..." She whispered, kissing his neck the best she could, before she pulled back a little.

"However you are still so gonna have to pay for Cat's future princess dresses. She will be sure to start asking for them early with the baby lessons she is already given." Alicia teased him making him laugh.

"Deal... will you however then do me the honor of being my date to this gala we are hosting and sponsoring next month?" He asked, and Alicia froze. They had been seen together but this would actually mean them being completely official. She hesitated for a second.

"It would be an honor. Which gala is it?" She offered as an answer. The dream of dancing with Will a whole night already floating in her mind, pushing all other thoughts aside.

"One in the honor of the neonatal unit University of Chicago Medical Center." He admitted softly. Alicia felt like she had stopped breathing and her heart skipped more than one beat at the same time.

"We are hosting a gala for the neonatal unit?" She whispered softly. She could feel tears gathering in her eyes.

"We are..." He admitted and squeezed her hand softly, answering the question she hadn't voiced.

"Thank you Will... it is the sweetest most thoughtful thing..." She told him, gently kissing his cheek again and burying her nose into his warm skin.

"It's nothing Alicia... it is a good cause..." He answered.

"It is a lot Will... I... thank you..." She whispered. She looked for the right words. But she couldn't find any. Instead she just kept hugging him from behind a little longer. She pulled back with a sigh.

"I am gonna pour the water from the pasta... then we are all ready to eat..." She offered him and he nodded.

"I will go put Cat down..." he offered her and stood carefully up again.

"Will, thank you..." She whispered again and moved in and reached up and gave him a light kiss on the lips.

She then moved to the kitchen and finished the last touches on the pasta. Will came and helped her set the food on the table before going to find Grace. She smiled as she sat down at the table with her almost grown up daughter and the man she loved. She was really happy here. She got to listen to Will and Grace in a merry discussion about soccer. One that turned fast to the topic of law. It seemed to be Grace's favorite thing at the moment. Picking Will's brain on why he became a lawyer and how to become a great one. Yeah, this here was her family. Her baby girl sleeping in the next room, Will having remembered to bring the baby monitor in. And a meal shared with those she loved the most.

_This was as close to perfect as it could get. _

* * *

_Okay please "Will's puppy dog eyes" let me know your thoughts... I love hearing them...  
_

_Also i advice you to look up the meaning of the colors of tulips i used. There were a reason it was them. and the poem I had Will use was sadly not mine either but just found it too cute. _


	5. April: Confess to me, every secret mom

_Okay back here... Hope you enjoy it Sabby. I love you to pieces and love you more and more what would i do without my Sabby in my life?... and same goes for the rest of all my readers... my wonderful girls I hope you like it!_

_Also Thank you to Ilona who send me to listen to Tina Turner to give me energy..._

_Also a HUGE thank you to Moni, Mary and Steffi that each in their waymade this chapter so much better...  
_

_I don't own the good wife! Or the song What Are Words_

* * *

_Confess to me, every secret moment  
Every stolen promise you believed _

* * *

**April- Confess to me, every secret moment **

She had always been beautiful in red, he couldn't come up with another color that suited her better. Red and Alicia were like two weights equaling each other. Two puzzle pieces fitting together. He had a few days earlier asked her what she would wear for the gala, and she had looked puzzled first, making him wonder if she had truly forgotten about it. But then asked why he had wanted to know and if he didn't prefer the surprise. But he had insisted she at least gave him the color, and she finally told him it was red, he didn't have to worry, she hadn't forgotten. He was relieved and had gotten himself a red bow tie to match her gown. Though it was a white tie event he left the white tie at home and went with the red one. Not the least because he knew Alicia would like it and he preferred to stand out. The day after he had invited her to the gala had been the two year anniversary of the day she broke his heart at a very similar event. However, now, two years and a month later he was allowed to be the man on her arm, or maybe rather with her on his arm. Though he would never think of her like that. Like only a lady on his arm. He would never ask her to walk behind him, or stand behind him but offer to walk side by side with her.

He was proud to be the one with her this night, to be the one that picked her up and took her out. To be the one she had chosen that scandalous, sexy, gorgeous dress for. The one she smiled at, the one that made her eyes sparkle and Alicia seem 10 or more years younger, and not the mother of three, two of whom were practically grown-ups like she really was.

The dress she had on was a strapless red one with laces in the back, and a slit in the side. He had stared at her speechless as he took in the sight of her before asking her if she wasn't wearing more. She had laughed and said if he really thought she could fit more into the dress. He and groaned and mumbled her breasts were practically spilling out, how could she decide to wear that in public. She had teased him and said she had to take advantage of her bigger assets thanks to her baby daughter. He hadn't agreed, growling that others shouldn't get to stare at those assets, only him. Something that had her laugh and admit she was glad he found her that attractive he got jealous over only the thought of others looking at her. He had pulled her close, kissing her deeply as he told her she could wear a potato sack and she would still be the most gorgeous woman at the ball, but he still would prefer other men not staring at her breasts or legs. She had kissed him sweetly and whispered that he would be the only one that got to untie the laces at the end of the evening.

"Yes, but I'm still the only one who's supposed to be seeing, since I'm the only one who's allowed to be getting." He had told her as a response, making her laugh even more as he asked if she didn't have a jacket, or better yet a coat she could wear over the dress. That made her roll her eyes and drag him out of the apartment, she had rushed him, mentioning they were already late. In the elevator on the way down he had actually tried to pull her dress up, only to get a cheeky remark of how he should behave or he would be exposing her crotch instead. He hadn't found it funny when he saw how indeed men did stare at her, even her own doorman. It had helped though a lot that she was oblivious to their gazes and only looked at him. As they had arrived at the party and he had once more had to deal with more sending glances at Alicia, she had leaned into him and whispered.

"I wore the dress because I knew you would like it, they don't matter... I am here with you, I wanted to look this way for you." She kissed his cheek in a light peck, making him blush especially knowing how he knew she wasn't a fan of public displays of affections. Even more knowing there might be press-members there, that was the risk in having the governor himself and Alicia's ex-husband as an invited guest. Will hadn't checked if he had accepted or not, and he wasn't the one to point out it would look good to invite both him and Eli, David Lee and Diane were. He actually didn't care one way or another, even less when Alicia leaned more into him. He wrapped his arm around her back instead of leading her on the arm. He liked having her close this way. They entered the room together, and he smiled when he saw the decorations - it was completely like he had wanted. The gasp he heard her make told him he had chosen correctly. He couldn't help himself from leaning in to ask if she liked it. She had smiled nodded and he had stolen another kiss from her. He loved kissing her and being allowed the freedom to kiss her, even when she disliked affection showed in public. He had spotted Diane in the middle of the room along with Kurt, and he guided Alicia over there.

"You are late..." His partner remarked, making a light blush spread on Alicia's cheeks, one he immediately noticed. He knew she now feared Diane thought it was due to other reasons, much more pleasurable reasons than the real ones.

"Yes, I am sorry, I was already running late, picking up Alicia. Kurt, good to see you, glad you joined Diane tonight." Will offered.

"You too, and Mrs. Flor... I mean Ms. Cavanaugh, right?" He broke off, clearly unsure what name Alicia actually used nowadays. She smiled though, leaning her head light against Will's shoulder, something he liked immensely.

"Alicia is fine, Mr. McVeigh... easier to remember..."

"Alicia, then I guess you should call me Kurt then instead as well. Diane and I were just discussing getting something to drink, would you like me to bring something back for you two as well?" Kurt offered them.

"Yes, that would be great, let me help you..." Will answered.

"Leaving me alone that fast? You are very sure of yourself aren't you Mr. Gardner?" Alicia teased him as she pulled back a little.

"I seem to remember someone assuring me of that just earlier?" He winked at her, as she shrugged her shoulders.

"Well go get me something to drink, sparkling grape-juice please. Then we will see if I am still here when you get back." She teased him, her eyes sparkling and telling him he shouldn't worry, she wouldn't leave him.

"What would you like? Champagne?" Kurt asked Diane who nodded, before he followed Will.

* * *

Alicia kept looking after Will as he moved away from where they stood.

"He really likes you..." Diane's voice made her turn her attention back to the other woman. She was confused first of what Diane meant.

"Huh?"

"Will... I don't think I have ever seen him like this before..." Diane raised an eyebrow at Alicia, who blushed and looked down.

"Yeah..." She wasn't sure what to say to the other woman about it. It had already been awkward when they talked about a month ago, after Will had told Diane about them. She wasn't sure how much she should say. She had never been one who was open about her feelings or shared them with many. And her feelings for Will especially were something sacred and private. No one else would be able to understand the strong bond and what they felt. At least that was how she felt. Why it was so hard to defend or argue her feelings to her other boss, no matter how much it would make it easier. After all she knew Diane was skeptical because of the past and because she cared about Will a lot.

"Don't hurt him." She now advised her, making Alicia look up again, taken a little aback. It was a warning Diane hadn't even given her a month ago. There it had been more kept on a professional level regarding work, mostly though there had been a few unvoiced warnings as well. This one was clear.

"He is happy with you, more than I have ever seen him. I hope it will work out better this time..." Alicia felt herself blush a little, and looked down, feeling slightly awkward over the unspoken past.

"Thank you... I.. We are happy now..." She looked at Diane, hoping she could see the truth in her eyes.

"You have the power to hurt him and you have done so in the past." Diane told her, now more straightforward, and Alicia couldn't blame her she was Will's best friend and she wasn't wrong. They were happy, Will was happy now, but they had been before and she had ended them. She had made him feel like he wasn't more than her own vision of Amber Madison, a revenge, a release for her frustrations, a way to make herself feel better. Something that couldn't have been further from the truth. Yes he made her feel better, but that was because when she was him she was finally happy, free and relaxed. She felt loved and adored, more loved than she had in years. Talking with him, laying in his arms when things were hard at work had been the best. And it still was again now. Back then she had also loved being the healing balm to his own worries at work, the one that gave him strength to go on. Their time back then had been more precious to her than most would ever know.

"I don't want to hurt him, there is nothing I want to do less than that" Alicia whispered softly, remembering the pain in his eyes as she broke up with him, the pain of doing it. How she had hurt them both right there, and it wasn't the only time, she had caused them both a lot of grief and tears. It was something that went all the way back to Georgetown.

"You love him." Alicia stared at Diane in shock. She hadn't imagined her saying that. It was so direct, leaving her no room to run. She gulped, very unsure what to answer to that one.

"I... yes... I do... I spent a lot of time pretending and wishing I didn't but I do." She finally whispered as she also felt herself blush a little. Diane nodded thoughtfully and then sighed.

"It is hard to feel like that... I can only assume it was even more complicated with the other people in the picture, making it harder for you." Alicia listened to the words told, she squinted at her mentor, considering if she spoke from own experience because it sounded like.

"Yes it is... and it did make it harder. Did you ever...?" Alicia quickly caught herself, she wasn't sure if she could ask that sort of thing, but Diane nodded, giving her a half nostalgic smile.

"Kurt sort of proposed to me two years before we did agree to get married. I said no. Not because I didn't love him, but because it didn't fit into the life I had. He wanted to run away, I needed to stay..." She offered, shocking Alicia. She hadn't known a lot about Diane or her relationship with Kurt, just that there was one. One that had also lead to chose love over career, the supreme court judgeship not going to her because there was too much mess.

"I had no idea... I am..." Alicia wasn't sure what to really say, as she looked for the right words.

"It is alright... we are here now aren't we? Happier than in the past, more at ease. I don't know all that has been going on with you and Will. I have a feeling you haven't even told me everything of what has been going on with your illness and such. I can accept that, as long as you are not using him. He is a strong man but even strong men have their weaknesses and you are Will's." She pointed out, and Alicia nodded, also catching the experience she was sharing of how she was her own husband's weakness as well and how much it meant, and what responsibility it gave.

"I wouldn't do that... I know the way I handled things in the past was wrong, but I regret it. I am not using him." She whispered, never having said anything truer. She had regretted so much how she had kept pushing him away since she was 22, denying herself the man her heart belonged to.

"Okay then I am happy for you, you both seem happier than I think I have ever witnessed in the past." Diane observed, making Alicia smile serenely.

"I won't hurt him. I... love him..." She let slip just as a warm arm slipped around her waist, pulling her close.

"I hope you didn't try to scare Alicia away. Or discuss work..." Will teased Diane, though Alicia also caught the warning in his tone. However her talk with his partner had given her a bit of insight so she made sure to calm him down.

"No she didn't, don't worry... we were discussing the event tonight, and how well it seems to be going so far." She offered as she winked at Diane, who smiled in return, and added:

"Yes. I have been telling Alicia of all the hospital contacts you had to bribe to help out. All the nurses... I might also have mentioned how you were such a softie even wishing to influence what some of the money will be used for. As well as the auction you arranged, what was it you put up? Did you sell your car? Or was it just..." She teased him, and Alicia could feel Will's chest move as he laughed.

"I see, so you are destroying my image of a strong man and turning me into a total sap in her eyes instead." His words had both Alicia and Diane laugh.

"Don't worry she didn't tell me anything I didn't already know about you, that includes you being a sap, I mean it was so easy to convince you to watch Titanic with me on the weekend. Or how about you always letting me watch Pretty Woman, the Bodyguard and Ghost back at our video nights at Georgetown. Just because they were my three favorite movies. And I remember this strong man who might have had a few tears in his eyes watching Ghost... I seem to recall a pair of brown eyes that were a bit misty, don't you Mr. Georgetown?" She teased him, making Diane laugh even more. Alicia pulled a little away so she could look at Will.

"Ouch now you are the one to destroy my image." He shook his head and placed a hand on his heart like he was hurt.

"Aww big guy want me to kiss it better?" She teased, making him shake his head at her.

"Where did you leave Kurt? " Diane asked Will, reminding Alicia they were not alone, something she had forgotten for a few seconds. Will's eyes seemed to have that effect on her.

"He offered to wait while they made our drinks, there he is. I just came back faster because I didn't want to risk you two teaming up on me... how could I defend myself then... though I already seem to have lost there..." He answered just as Kurt returned with the drinks.

"Here, champagne for you Will, and one for you." He smiled at Diane and handed her a similar glass. "And sparkling grape-juice for you, Alicia. Was it correct that you only wanted juice?" He asked, as he handed her the glass.

"Yes, it is perfect. thank you." Alicia answered as she took the glass. She couldn't drink wine, yet as she still nursed Cat a few times through the day.

"Let's make a toast." Will hurried to offer, and she knew he had done it partly also to guide the talk away in case Kurt or Diane mentioned her lack of alcohol.

"To what do we toast?" Diane asked, and Alicia considered it for a few seconds.

"To Lockhart/Gardner." She finally offered.

"To a wonderful night among friends and loved ones." Kurt added and raised his glass.

"To the future." Diane added herself with a smile at Alicia, letting her know it might also be in relation to a little of what they had talked about.

"To love!" Will finally concluded, and they all nodded.

"To love, cheers." They raised their glasses and nodded before taking a sip, just as the toastmaster announced it was time to find their seats for the dinner. Will offered Alicia his arm and guided her over to their table, followed closely by Diane and Kurt.

* * *

Dinner was a pleasant affair. They were seated at the same table as Diane and Kurt, thankfully as Diane seemed like a calming presences at the table unlike David Lee who was also seated there. And he seemed far less acceptable over Alicia's and Will's relationship, something he made jabs at through dinner. The chief of the neonatal ward and his wife were also seated with them, as well as Neil Gross, not making it easier. But he was one of their top clients, and one that would be able to donate to the cause. So Diane's presences at the table, as well as the Doctor and his wife's, a business woman herself, and Alicia did what they could to secure the peace. Alicia was only glad it was Neil Gross and not Sweeney who would have made sexual references all the way through dinner, and what a mess that would have been. It was already bad enough that he was at the party. Him and many more, including Peter, who she was glad was also seated away from her, and same with Eli. That would only have made it even more awkward. Her and Will now took the chance of holding hands as much as possible through the meal, which meant every time they were not eating.

After dessert the auction was hosted through which Alicia pressed herself closer to Will once again, resting as close to him as the formal context allowed her to. Will let his arm slide across her shoulder so she could get closer without things being uncomfortable for any of them.

"You are more in to PDA that I would have thought?" He whispered softly in her ear, she turned around and smiled at him.

"Well through dinner and before dinner I noticed more than one single or married woman was checking you out, I am just making sure they know you are taken." She locked her eyes with him, trying to figure out if he had noticed any of what she had just told him. His eyes softened the moment she said those things.

"They can stare all they want, I am not interested in anyone beside you. You are all I have ever wanted or needed." He touched her cheek lightly, caressing her skin and making sure she knew he was telling the truth. She leaned into his touch and softly kissed the palm of his hand.

"Thank you." she whispered, before turning back to focus on the auction. Just in time for her to catch Sweeney buying a luxury spa weekend for two. She almost laughed at the image that came to her mind of Sweeney at a spa, and Will's raised eyebrow at her told her he had caught her, but she shook her head at him lightly. She would tell him about it later in private.

The last item was announced and Alicia turned to stare at Will, when Diane had said it earlier she had really assumed it was merely a joke, and one glance at Diane's face told her it had been. That Diane had no idea he had done that. He really had put up his convertible for the auction.

"Are you crazy? What were you thinking?" She whispered as she leaned into him, and he shook his head.

"It is just a car Alicia. They need the money that car can bring in. They need it more than I need the car. I can afford to buy another one. But this hospital and their doctors and shipment saved yours and Cat's life. I could never afford losing one of you... If putting my car up for the sale can get them more equipment to save other mothers and babies if is well given out." He whispered and placed a soft kiss on her cheek.

Alicia felt tears gathering in her eyes. She couldn't cry now. People would notice. It would ruin her makeup, but his gesture and his words. She couldn't let him do this. She just couldn't, it was too much. She stared into his eyes, he couldn't mean that, he couldn't love her that much, could he? But the look in his eyes told her he did. That he really wanted to do this. That the gala was one thing but he did this because these people had saved her and her daughter's life.

"You shouldn't have... you already arranged the gala, and the auction..." She whispered. "Will I don't need you to do all of this for me... I just need you... I ..." She wasn't sure how even to start explaining all of what she felt right now, and he shook his head and placed a finger on her lips.

"I wanted to, it would also seem wrong I arranged it but didn't put up anything myself, wouldn't it? Alicia, I wanted to do this... and you don't dare pull anything stupid right now..." He told her like he had read her mind, that she was considering paying for the car herself so she could give it back to him. But his hands holding hers made sure she couldn't. He held her gaze and hands until the word "sold" was announced. Diane stared over at them. And Alicia was pretty sure her mentor knew this was related to her somehow, she just hoped it hadn't blown the goodwill she had received from Diane earlier. But looking over and meeting her gaze she saw Diane's eyes soften as she nodded thoughtfully, almost knowingly. But she did give Alicia a gentle, encouraging smile. One she returned with one of her own.

* * *

They had coffee after that, before the music started and the doctor and his wife left to dance, and Neil and his wife followed that example. Diane and Kurt left to circulate among the others, and Alicia and Will got up to do the same. They needed to give a good example, as well as speaking with potential donors like needed. More than one of the guys they talked to eyed Alicia up and down with a hungry stare. Eyes lingering on the slit showing her thigh or on her cleavage. Will was the one now pulling her closer, something she felt amusing.

"Well Alicia, you are not the only one with a right to mark your territory." He whispered in her ear when he guided her away from another staring guy. She smiled at him and offered to go and get him a drink.

She was waiting for her drinks when she had the meeting she had hoped to avoid all night.

"Red always suited you..." His voice made her stiffen for a second before turning around. She hadn't seen him in forever. Last she saw him her pregnancy was able to be hidden, and it had been brief. Now here she was post giving birth to his child he would never know about, and in a relationship with the man he always hated. She actually had no idea what to say to him, yet she turned around and faced him.

"Peter..." She nodded and smiled at him. She briefly wondered what was the proper etiquette for greeting your ex-husband that you had two grown up children with, and one baby he didn't know about, and you made one of the last times you saw each other. Not to mention you now practically lived with the man he can't stand, who is also the one your baby daughter knows as the man in her life. The one to calm her down when she cries, and first one to see her. What did you say in situations like these?

"Alicia... long time..." he answered as he nodded. She was relieved he made no motion to hug her or give her a kiss on the cheek. It would only make it more awkward, plus if Will saw them, she didn't want him to even start to speculate what was up with it. As he couldn't be further from the truth. She would much rather be back by his side than standing here not knowing what to say to the man she had spend close to two decades with.

"Yes... how have you been? Still loving the governor's office?" She asked, it was the best she could do, and from the puzzled look on his face she could see her professional question had surprised him a little and probably not in an all good way.

"Yes I do... you seem to be doing well, too..." He left the words "_with_ _Will" _unspoken, but she knew they were hinted, she wasn't in the mood to take the bait though, as it would mean this would be dragged out longer, plus she spotted a blond woman with breasts almost spilling out of her dress approaching Will. And she preferred dealing with bimbos rather than conversations where she didn't know what to say to Peter.

"Yes I am... I am sorry Peter, I need to get back... I am glad to see you are well." She offered with a polite and gentle smile, one he returned with a nod.

"Of course, the gala, the cause it is a good idea..." He offered, and she nodded.

"Yes it is. I am glad Will came up with that one, and Diane agreed." She offered, not even thinking of what she was saying until she saw the surprised look on his face by the mentioning of Will.

"I... am... sorry I had assumed it might have been yours... the idea..." He mumbled, almost stumbling on the words.

"Oh... um no... it was all Will's... I didn't even know about it until it was already planned..." She explained, not sure if it was the right thing to do or not, but anything else would be a lie. Peter nodded.

"I see... well, still a good one..." He offered, and she could see he might very well be forcing himself to say those words. She nodded slowly.

"I better get back..." She said again, and with a nod and another smile, she moved away. As she went she felt a weight lift off her shoulders. First meeting with Peter post Cat was over, and she had managed to do it perfectly. She walked over to where Will was, the blond woman still trying to chat him up. Will was looking very uncomfortable. She also knew the only reason he hadn't left the woman was that she was a potential donor. But as she might just have screwed their chances of Peter donating she should also save Will form his own troubles. Alicia smiled at Will as she came over to his side.

"Here honey I got your drink." She told him smilingly as she pressed up closely to him. Her smile was an adoring one and the way she spoke was the way she used to speak to Peter while they were married and guests at similar events. Will looked like he almost choked on his tongue in surprise over how she suddenly acted. Alicia ignored it, and instead turned to the woman who looked at bit surprised and slightly pissed off.

"Hi, I am Alicia, it is a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for entertaining Will while I was gone, it was soooo kind of you." She drew the so out just long enough to make a point, while still having her best fake smile in place. The woman looked even more pissed off by Alicia's explanation though, not that it was a surprise.

"Hi, am Kirsten, like the actress Kirsten Dunst you know?" She added with a fake smile of her own, while Alicia acknowledged that one as one of the most useless pieces of information of the night.

"He did not mention anything about being here with anyone." The woman tried instead. Alicia had to fight the desire to roll her eyes, while she heard Will mumble "Well maybe I would have if you ever gave me the time to say something." However instead of commenting on what he had mumbled Alicia focused again on the woman, while slipping her arm around Will's waist and pressing closer to him than the formal context actually allowed, but she did not really care. If it would make the woman leave them alone it would be worth it.

"Well he is, as you can see. I had just offered to get a drink for him, after all every man needs a woman to take care of him from time to time." The comment was a warning laced in sugar. She glanced up at Will who looked like he was close to choking in laughter. She really was playing the role of his obedient wife, something she and he both knew he would never ask of her, unlike Peter, where it had been expected for events like this.

Difference was there it had been an obligation, but she didn't mind as much doing it for Will. It actually felt nice, though it was just a show to scare Blondie or whatever her name was off.

The woman did not look pleased at all though, even less as Alicia reached up and gave Will a light peck on the cheek.

"Now will you excuse us, Will promised me a dance before." She said while pouting lightly and batting her eyelashes at him, leaning in close so she blond couldn't hear her next words. "Or would you rather I took you to the bathroom, and blew your mind?" those words made him choke on his drink for real his time. He coughed lightly, after he'd caught himself he turned towards her.

"Let's go dance..." Will told the women in a rush, and Alicia felt him quickly guide her away. She noticed how he placed his drink on a table as he guided her to the dance floor where he pulled her into his arms.

"So, I think you made you point to her." Will told Alicia while pulling her a bit closer against his warm chest.

"Good. Or do you want me to go back and apologize and say it was a mistake and you were very much interested in her?" She offered, looking up smilingly. She knew fully well it wasn't the case, but it still felt nice to tease him a little, and more as she knew he could take her jokes.

"You know just as well as I do that, if you did that it would be a lie. As I already told you tonight I don't care for anyone else beside you." He told her as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

She smiled at him and nodded.

"I know Will and it kind of made me happy how little interest you showed in her and how you looked at me the moment I came over." She admitted and smiled at him. God, she wish she could kiss him now. Especially when he looked at her like this with those eyes so full of love.

"I am never going to cheat on you, Alicia, if that is what you fear. I would be a fool if I did that, and I don't want to lose you. I have already waited far too long to have you." He told her and she felt her heart skip a beat and her breath catch. His never ceasing ability to make her like that with a few words kept surprising her.

* * *

_Anywhere you are, I am near  
Anywhere you go, I'll be there  
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see_

* * *

Will drew her closer as he started to guide her over the floor. She looked up at him a bit surprised at first, she had imagined they would be going for dancing cheek to cheek like most did, like Diane and Kurt were already doing. She hadn't imagined he would start to lead her like this. She tried to remember which of the ballroom dances it was he was guiding her into. She had learned some of them long ago, dancing with her dad as a little girl, mostly standing on his toes. With her father telling her about Three Step, turns and feathers and weaves. She had been a terrible student back then, and it had mostly been fun to stand on her father's toes. She had done better when Jackie had insisted she took up ballroom dancing in later years, because it would be embarrassing if she didn't know to dance correctly at balls. She had refused, but Peter had mentioned it might be smart as well, so in the end after one of many fights she had given in. It was years ago now though, and she still had an easy time mixing up the different dances. Foxtrot - the name came to her. It only made her wonder where Will had learned to dance like this.

* * *

_Where every single promise I'll keep  
Cause what kind of guy would I be  
If I was to leave when you need me most  
What are words  
If you really don't mean them  
When you say them  
What are words  
If they're only for good times  
Then they're done_

* * *

The song was a romantic ballad, and the words actually made her eyes a little misty. Not the least because they fitted completely on Will. On how he was with her and had always been. He hadn't left her when she had needed him the most. He never would do that to her. He had stayed by her side even when she was pregnant with another man's child, he hadn't pushed, just been the friend and support she needed.

* * *

_When it's love  
Yeah, you say them out loud  
Those words, They never go away  
They live on, even when we're gone_

* * *

She knew those words he told her of his feelings for her were true, that they came from his heart. And the same was the case for her. She loved him, at this point she wasn't even sure there had ever been a time when she wasn't just a little bit in love with Will Gardner, maybe years ago in her marriage to Peter. However it could just as well be that she had buried and forgotten the feelings and fire Will had burning in her heart. She often wondered how things would have looked like if she back when she was 22 and naïve had been more brave, more sure of how to read the language of Will Gardner's eyes. Because if she had, she would back then have known he loved her. That her feelings for him weren't as one sided or unrequited as she imagined. As she tricked herself into thinking. And if she had known that it would maybe have been very different. It maybe wouldn't only have lasted a week like she once told him, it wouldn't just have been life. It would been everything but that. Just like they weren't just life now. She felt like she was floating on cloud nine every day she spend with him. Just like he made her float across the floor now in the complicated dance.

* * *

_And I know an angel was sent just for me  
And I know I'm meant to be where I am  
And I'm gonna be  
_

* * *

Will led her in the dance. He was glad he had sisters, and his dad had been the type to insist his daughters learned ballroom dancing, and since it was harder finding boys for dance partners Will had been signed up as Sarah's so they only needed to find one for Aubrey. Will had after that been forced to train all the dances with Sarah and attend those classes as well as his other sports, he had made sure to beat one of the other boys up so much in basketball the one time he was teased with it that it was never mentioned at school again. However now he was sort of thankful, at 23 baseball had been enough to impress Alicia with. But now, now was another time and setting, one where his knowledge of the differences between quick step, tango and foxtrot came in handy. He guided Alicia over the floor in perfection, with the ease of a king.

* * *

_Standing right beside her tonight  
And I'm gonna be by your side  
I would never leave when she needs me most  
What are words_  
_If you really don't mean them_  
_When you say them  
What are words_  
_If they're only for good times_  
_Then they're done_

* * *

He couldn't remember a moment he hadn't wished for this. To for once be the one holding her hand floating across the floor with her. Two years ago it had broken his heart further seeing her dance with Peter after they came back from the police station. Like she hadn't done that enough already with her words only before. He knew he wasn't allowed to think like that. That she was allowed to dance with her husband as she pleased but it still hadn't made it any easier. Just like he was pretty sure Peter was anything but pleased now, with the glance he sent their way in the same moment. One of sadness, hurt and frustration but also understanding. Will felt himself straighten up a bit, showing he wasn't scared, not even of the governor's death-stare. How could be when he had Alicia in his arms and the other man would have to go back to his hotel or to Springfield alone. He couldn't blame him, Will had felt like that many times himself over the years having seen her with Peter at these kinds of events. After all running into her at galas and fundraisers had been the main reason he had for years tried to skip many of them, work was better than seeing her dance with Peter. But tonight he finally got to be the one leading her and dancing with her. And he was glad he knew the moves so he could make her proud there as well.

He could not remember if he had ever really danced with her like this before, but he was pretty sure he hadn't. He knew they had done some kind of dancing together while at Georgetown, but it was the dancing that was more considered grinding against each other than anything else. He tried to remember the last person he danced with like this but he wasn't sure. It might have been at Theresa's wedding a few years back. Sure, he had danced with Diane sometimes to celebrate and just for the fun of it. However leading Alicia across the floor was different, having her trust him completely to lead her correctly, that was different, but in a good way. He had always hated the dancing until this moment, probably from being forced to learn so he could dance with his sisters. However dancing with Alicia could very well become a new favorite activity of his. Actually everything that had to do with Alicia became a favorite of his, dancing, kissing, holding hands, even diaper changing were one of those as long as it was with Alicia and Cat.

* * *

_When it's love_  
_Yeah, you say them out loud_  
_Those words, They never go away_  
_They live on, even when we're gone_

* * *

The words of the song rang through the air, describing just how he felt with Alicia. It was love he felt with her. He had been in love with her since the moment he saw her at that pool party where he acted like a fool, and she looked at him with distaste clearly under the impression that no such drunken cannonball making jerk was worth her time. He wasn't anyone special like the rest at the party, they were not worth her time and energy. And she had probably been right back then, maybe even now. She was smart, confident, sensual, warm, gentle. She was perfect. And he often wondered if she was an angel send to him rather than a woman. However he loved her, he loved her dearly and always had. He wanted her happy and shining. And he was happy when he was the one making her feel like that. The gala tonight really was one he had arranged as a thank you for his prayers having been heard, that the hospital and God had saved her and her baby-girl's life. Because a world where Alicia didn't breath any longer was nothing to him. He would gladly give up everything for her to be happy and live, dance and smile. His words of love when he told them to her were the most true emotions he had ever felt, and they lived on and on.

* * *

_Anywhere you are, I am near_  
_Anywhere you go, I'll be there_  
_And I'm gonna be here forever more_  
_Every single promise I'll keep_  
_Cause what kind of guy would I be_  
_If I was to leave when you need me most_

* * *

He had stayed by her side when she had told him she was expecting her little Cat, how could he have done anything else. She might not have been his girlfriend back then but she was still the woman he loved. And the one he cared about the most of anyone. He wouldn't turn his back on her in such a moment where she needed a friend and confident. Someone to depend on. She was his oldest friend and you helped friends. What person would he be if he hadn't been there for her like that.

* * *

_I'm forever keeping my angel close _

* * *

He lifted her up and swirled around with her as the last line sounded. It had her gasp in surprise. But she did hug him close as the song ended and he gently lowered her onto the floor again, starting to move slowly with her to the next song. This time dancing with her cheek to cheek. Her hand resting on his chest and he covered it with his lifting it to his lips and placing a kiss on the tips before holding it to his chest again. He swayed softly with her now. Just enjoying the feeling of holding her close like this. None of them noticed how the songs changed they just swayed together softly. Once in a while he led her in a waltz, or another foxtrot. By the end of the night he finished off with guiding her in a tango where he dipped her down at the end, something that had her laughing a lot.

The party was winding down at that point and he got her clutch bag and they started to leave together. They were almost out of the hallway when Sweeney caught up with them.

"Alicia... Wow you look, amazing... like a real little sex kitten. Rawww.." He made an animal face and claws at them. And Will pulled Alicia closer to his side as he felt Alicia stiffen up.

"Hello Mr. Sweeney." Will told him.

"Mr. Sweeney..." Alicia added. Sweeney looked from her to Will. And Will didn't like the smile forming on his face at all.

"I just wanted to give you this Alicia... I am sure Mr. Gardner here would enjoy it a lot..." Will stared at what he handed Alicia. It looked like the gift certificate on the spa weekend he had bought.

"Mr. Sweeney I can't accept this..." Alicia started to object.

"Of course you can. As I will have much greater pleasure imagine your naked body in the mud bath. And after getting a Brazilian wax. Leaving your skin glowing and your folds glistening. Raww so delicious. So much better than going there myself. And I am sure Mr. Gardner will agree..." he looked like a kitten with cream as he hurried away before Alicia could object more. Will looked after Sweeney as he walked away. A part of him was tempted to beat up Sweeney for the comments but he also knew he couldn't do that.

"Come on let's get home, before he decides he wants to gift you with anything else..." Will told her and guided her out.

* * *

They went back to her place. And only as they entered her bedroom he remembered her words earlier of untying her laces later. He suddenly felt a lot less tired and instead excited. She had looked amazing in the dress no matter how much he didn't like the other men looking at her greedily and hungrily it didn't matter that much when he got to be the one to bring her home now and the one to take this dress off her again.

"I guess we will be going away for an overnighter then..." She told him as she took off her jewelry and he felt confused.

"Huh? What? Why?" He asked not sure what she was talking about, even less when he had to watch her back as she unclasped her necklace.

"The spa weekend. It is for two persons. I don't like leaving Cat alone for that many hours but maybe in a few months we can do it..." She offered as she looked over her shoulder at him.

He found himself nodding. It sounded amazing. A long weekend with Alicia at a spa, just relaxing. That sounded like paradise. Even if it wouldn't be for a few months.

"I like that idea... us going away for a weekend..." He smiled at the thought as she came back over. He opened his arms and pulled her close so he could kiss her. And he did, a kiss that soon turned heated. He fumbled with her laces, but in the end made her turn her back to him. He untied her slowly as he kissed down her back and neck, the dress slowly falling away. With the dress off she undressed him, and soon after he was making slow love to her on her bed, while whispering how he loved her over and over while she came apart. This was everything to him. She was his everything.

* * *

_So I know it was a few days late but I hope this very long chapter made up for it... also if anyone has ideas for future chapters please let me know... ;-) And i really hope you liked this Sabby :D_


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